A balrog of Morgoff!

Well, in an unprecedented event, I not only finished my novel early, I finished it at 56,191 words. Yep. I'm the first student to have done it twice too, so you know, I should just get an Emmy now. Or Oscar. Tony?
What this means is, you get to hear me ramble on about The Hobbit unless if Gary's flagging of my blog gets it deleted, because Gary is so cool like that. Anyway.



Okay, so... Uhm. I liked it more than I did when I was kid, but it still doesn't hardly measure up to The Fellowship of the Ring. It was kind of like A Horse and His Boy, except instead of being mediocre and going to terrible, it was good going to mediocre-on-the-brink-of-terrible. I loved the beginning, but Smaug's death still seems terrible and hackneyed (for different reasons now, as I noticed something important* that made me retract my previous dislikes of his death) and the battle after that and such. I suppose I should have included a spoiler alert, but good news it's too late.

This book is of course about Bilbo Baggins and his adventure, alluded to within both the Lord of the Rings movies and books, and tells of the killing of Smaug the dragon, and Bilbo's procurement of the Ring, and a goblin war that's blah blah blah.

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit" (1). I love this opening line, always have, even when I hated the book. I love it. It's just a good book opening. (Also see, Pride and Prejudice.)

"'Dragons steal gold and jewels, you know, from men and elves and dwarves, wherever they can find them; and they guard their plunder as long as they live (which is practically forever, unless they are killed), and never enjoy a brass ring of it. Indeed they hardly know a good bit of work from a bad, though they usually have a good notion of the current market value; and they can't make a thing for themselves, not even mend a little loose scale in their armor*'" (23). I saw this and instantly I forgave Tolkien for the seemingly super-ridiculous way Smaug died, because of course I didn't notice the foreshadowing. Though I still don't like how he was killed, but it's just that it seemed random--like oh, we're switching narrative to this random human, yay! he killed the dragon! And now we're going to have a war! Marky Mark said that after stuff is necessary to show Bilbo's development and probably it is but yuck, yuck, yuck. (Oh, and does this description of a dragon sound similar to one from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader?)

Ah, the cockney trolls! I'm sure I had to have mentioned before Marky Mark telling us about the interpretation of this book which I can't remember the exact name of, but I'm going to pretend it's the socialism view or some such. Well, regardless of its name, it's the idea that the book is very much based on class. Smaug is the socialist, uh, overlord, with these riches and such, money his pockets are swollen with without actually having to do anything for it (because he's at the top of the pile) and Bilbo is the middle class fellow who doesn't really do a thing, kind of bourgeois (which I believe is the word Marky Mark used, though the spelling and pronunciation are quite different--boor-zwa-zee is how it sounded, and since I've never heard that word spoken unless if it was in fact the one he used--) and easily living fellow, and the trolls are the lower class. Indeed, they are the only characters who have real accents and such, easily recognized as cockney, almost always associated with the lower class. Examples of speech: "'Mutton yesterday, mutton today'" (35), "'Never a blinking bit of manflesh have we had for long enough... what the 'ell was William a-thinkin' of to bring us into these parts at all, beats me--and the drink runnin' short, what's more'" (35). Tom, Bill and Bert--very lower class names, too. But, yeah. Uh... I don't really know where I was going with that. But it was absolutely fantastic to hear Marky Mark doing the cockney accents. There's a guy that should do audio books!**


"Gandalf thought of most things; and though he could not do everything, he could do a great deal for friends in a tight corner" (65).

"'Go back?' he thought. 'No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only one thing to do! On we go!' So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter" (69). Oh hey, Northern Courage, perhaps? And I just love Bilbo at this very moment.

So, in the caverns, underground after escaping the goblins, Bilbo runs into Gollum, as you may or may not know. Anyway, they have a riddle game, as is common in fantasy tales, at least so far of what I've noticed. There's not really much to say other than it is a good thing I'm not a fantasy hero, in this case. I'd be done. "'A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid'" (75). Granted, Bilbo asks that of Gollum, but still. I'd just be like "I give" or run. I don't freaking know. What do you think it is? I had no clue--but the answer is apparently an egg. Which makes sense, but I'd never come up with it. And, another smidgen about the riddles: "'Dark!' [Frodo] said without even scratching his head or putting on his thinking cap" (75). There is something intensely adorable about the idea of having a physical thinking cap necessary for deep thought.

One thing I love about the way Gollum is handled, at least in this book (I cannot vouch for the other two Lord of the Rings books, at least not yet) is how Gollum's little, uh, schizophrenic tirades are treated. They are not only seperated by paragraph between Gollum and Smeagul, or however they should be referred to, I don't know, but they have separate quotation marks as though it really is two separate people speaking. Which, I guess technically sort of in a weird way it is.

"'Escaping goblins to be caught by wolves!' he said, and it became a proverb, though we now say 'out of the frying-pan into the fire' in the same sort of uncomfortable situations" (98). Ahhh, there's that making up explanations thing I talked about in my last post. The most obvious and clearest one yet, I daresay.

Riding the eagles=Riding the owls in The Silver Chair? Once you start looking for similarities, you just can't stop.

OH, and he's something I meant to mention ten thousand years ago. One of the dwarves traveling with Bilbo is Balin. Remember the tomb in The Fellowship of the Ring...?

"[Smaug] had passed from an uneasy dream (in which a warrior, altogether insignificant in size but provided with a bitter sword and great courage, figured most unpleasantly) to a doze, and from a doze to wide waking" (215). Oh hi foreshadowing, what's up? (Partial foreshadowing, if there is such a thing--)

"Suddenly Bilbo pointed: 'There is that old thrush again!' he cried. 'He seems to have escaped, when Smaug smashed the mountain-side, but I don't suppose the snails have!'" (255). Sometimes Bilbo is so cute I can't even stand it.

"'Good-bye and good luck, wherever you fare!' said Balin at last. 'If you ever visit us again, when our halls are made fair once more, then the feast shall indeed be splendid!' 'If you are ever passing my way,' said Bilbo, 'don't wait to knock! Tea is at four; but any of you are welcome at any time!'" (292). Marky Mark pointed this out to us for some reason, but I can't remember exactly why. In any case, it's another 'Bilbo can I just hug you?' moment. I love him! Hobbits are the best.


Let's see... So yeah. I suppose it's worth reading, I mean, a lot of people enjoy this book. I'm planning on reading it with the kid I'm tutoring (because he didn't want to read Narnia--I wish I could say I was kidding) because it's obviously much simpler than the other LotR books, and yeah, the Narnia thing. I mean--refusing to read Narnia!? Good lord. This world is dissolving fast into madness. Anyway, it's skippable. The first three or four chapters of The Fellowship of the Ring basically cover the whole book--it's worth reading (The Hobbit, I mean) but that intro is certainly sustainable and possibly even preferable. Well, for me, at least, because I'm terrible like that.

And, one more little fun anecdote which you probably won't care for at all. I've mentioned before that I read the book in fifth grade and hated, nay, reviled it. Detested it. But for whatever reason, I could not bring myself to get rid of my copy of it. I was incredibly attached to it, though I cared little for its contents--there was something about the cover that drew me and enchanted me. So I'd always put it out with books to get rid of then secretly take it back, as the thought of not having it pained me considerably. So, finally, this summer we completely redid my bedroom, and I went through all my books before putting them on my new shelf. I came across my old abused copy and had an intense issue over getting rid of it. I finally had to go somewhere, so I left the book (which was in rather poor condition, because it wasn't really loved like my other books--it was just kind of chilling in the netherworld of my closet like Gollum in his cave) on my bed, knowing I'd just put it back on my shelf when I got home.
My mom, however, saw it, and thought "Why, Angela hates this book! I'll get rid of it for her", and did so.
Now, when I told Marky mark I'd like to reread The Hobbit and give it a fair chance, he misunderstood and thought I needed a copy to borrow, and offered me an old school's copy--the same edition as mine had been. Fortunately, my brother had his own copy of The Hobbit and Marky Mark allowed me to trade Thomas's nice brand spanking new never been touched copy for the abused school's copy. So that was awesome of him! (The edition in question--this is best picture I could get, sorry: http://www.biblio.com/details.php?dcx=203515591&aid=frg )
Yup. I still am not completely sure why I should have been so attached to the book if I really did hate it, but understandable or not, this edition of The Hobbit:me::The Ring:Gollum.

**(Speaking of audiobooks, I saw the audiobook edition of A Clockwork Orange the other day--I don't even know.)

Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him.

Well! As I'm comfortably (kind of) ahead and I need to study for a quiz on this book, I feel like I should write this up. Oh, and because it made my feelings toward JRR Tolkien do a complete 180. Marky Mark has made me a Lord of the Rings dork. He has made me even dorkier. I am so full of dork right now. So full.

Obviously we read The Fellowship of the Rings. I am going to assume that if you haven't read it you've at least seen the movie and not bother with preliminaries. If you haven't read it, DO IT NOW. If you haven't seen the movie, DO IT NOW. Come on, even when I had a blood grudge against Tolkien I at least liked the movies. Now I love at least the one book more, though I have difficulty loving Bilbo as much. Anyway.

My first note regards the mentioning of Bree--hardcore Narnia fans will get it, maybe. If not, in the third book the 'horse' of the title is named Bree-hee-hinny-hoo-ha. I have several marks like this, for example, there is a mentioning of a place in Middle Earth called Etten Moor (or something similar to that). In Narnia, there is a land known as Ettinsmoor. Also, in the sixth and seventh Narnia books there are the dragons that live deep underground to be awoken when the final moments of Narnia are nigh, to strip the land and destroy it and eventually die themselves. Marky Mark gave us a brief history of the Balrog--a beast sleeping under the earth till the dwarves accidentally woke it up and it wreaked havoc till Gandalf killed it. Oh hey similarities. Of course, they were close friends and commiserated often. And apparently the fact that CS Lewis took such a short time in writing and publishing his books made it look like Tolkien got his ideas from Lewis when his books were finally finished annoyed the heck out of Tolkien.

I didn't like Peter Jackson's interpretation of Bilbo flipping out over the Ring. It seemed... I don't know, too much. Or not enough. What bothered me more was the second time Bilbo sees the Ring, when Frodo has it. In the movie, he flips out and morphs for a second into a '28 Weeks Later' zombie and gets all creepy-like, in the book it's much more... subtle, I guess. "To his distress and amazement he found that he was no longer looking at Bilbo; a shadow seemed to have fallen between them, and through it he found himself eyeing a little wrinkled creature with a hungry face and bony groping hands" (260). I imagined more of a pathetic little creature, like Gollum. Which I guess isn't necessarily subtle... just not as intense as Jackson made it. I mean, it made it hard to feel bad for Bilbo. It was just kind of, I don't know, shocking.

"'I pity snails, and all that carry their homes on their backs'" (78). Aw, Frodo's so cute. Can we hang out?

Marky Mark said that Tolkien wanted to create sort of sayings, if you know what I mean. I'm not really sure how to describe what I mean, other than giving examples: "Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger" (94) and "Go not to the Elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes" (94). He also wanted to offer explanations for many unknown things, like the rock formations and megaliths common in Europe--the most common being Stone Henge. And the nursery rhyme about the cow jumping over the moon, that finds its 'root' in a nonsense song made up by either Bilbo or Frodo.

"'But where shall I find courage?' asked Frodo. 'That is what I chiefly need.' 'Courage is found in unlikely places'" (95).

Oh, here's a note that no one but I will care for. At one point, Tolkien says Frodo hears a babel of voices, or something along those lines. And I was all, hey, JRR, ever heard of the word babble? Because that's what people use. But then, I was all HEY! The tower of Babel! The Biblical story? It all sounded like Babel because all of a sudden everyone was speaking a different language! Then I was like, hey, that's probably where the word 'babble' came from! Sooooo.... yup. Just call me a professor of, um, philology (sp?).

"'Not all those who wander are lost'" (195).

"'You were very fond of Bilbo, were you not?' he asked. 'Yes,' answered Frodo. 'I would rather see him than all the towers and the palaces in the world'" (257). Love!

"'Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens'" (315). Easily my favorite quote of the book. Gimli, high five? Yes?

"'I had a funny dream an hour or two before we stopped, Mr Frodo,' he said. 'Or maybe it wasn't a dream. Funny it was anyway.' 'Well, what was it?... I haven't seen or thought of anything to make me smile since we left Lothlorien'" (430). There is something I love about this little exchange, even though it is nothing of huge bearing, or importance. I just like it....

So yep. I'll be reading the rest of the series once I have less on my plate, though first I'll be going back to reread The Hobbit, a book I previously despised, but am now willing to give a second chance. Now, back to my novel! Fare thee well!

So, where exactly is Gandalf? Well, I happened to catch him at his new job the other day... Something about it just seems to suit him.