"We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever."

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

Okay, so technically it's the night before, but trust me, I won't be done until at least January '098, so that's cool.

And, because I love you guys: HAHAHA. Marky Mark's my hero. True story. And, okay: LOLOLOLOL. Ugh, the 'stache is so creepy... YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT... Guhghfff. He said he was either being James Joyce or Burt Reynolds.

And... So far I haven't seen a satisfactory picture of me... I hope Meg didn't delete the other ones... but if one should arise, trust me, it's going up here.

So Joey asked to borrow the Cosmos book so I figured I should step up my game, you know. Also, who wouldn't want to write about Carl Sagan? Zero people. Zero. Actually, at the homecoming game today a druggie was talking to me about how cool he thinks Carl Sagan is. At first I was like, "How did he know!?" But then I remembered my 'Carl Sagan is my Homeboy' shirt, so...

I can't possibly go over everything in response form again. Actually, in one of my early posts I'm pretty sure I just had one that was just gushing over Sagan and Cosmos (the TV series). So, you get little tidbits. PS. I LOVE CARL SAGAN.

"We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever."

"We are, each of us, a multitude."

On the 'canals' of Mars: "The power of Lowell's idea may, just possibly, make it a kind of premonition. His canal network was built by Martians. Even this may be an accurate prophecy: If the planet is ever terraformed, it will be done by human beings whose permanent residence and planetary affiliation is Mars. The Martians will be us." Reminds you of the end of The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury, huh? Well, Marky Mark would be reminded of that! He borrowed it from me a quite enjoyed it. Because it's awesome. But besides that, the final scene (SPOILER ALERT) is this father promising his son they'll see real live martians. At the end they are floating in a boat on a canal and the father says, basically, there are the Martians, look. And they see their reflections and all. It's hard to really get it without the context and understand all of the awesomeness, but maybe you should read the book and not just my spoilers. (Kidding, I love you!)

"We have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night"--Tombstone epitaph of two amateur astronomers

"If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

Okay, if you've never taken an astronomy class, there are many theories of the universe's creation and existence and all. One theory is the model of the pulsating model, which unless I failed that astronomy quiz means it's a universe that expands to a certain point and then bounces back. Carl's wondering on what that would mean if true: "Will people at such time be born in the grave and die in the womb? Will time flow backwards?" What an interesting an idea! (Don't bring up Benjamin Button, okay?) I mean... living life backwards entirely. Would you remember? Would it still be just as new? I mean... it's such a cool theory! Immortality is a strange science, though, certainly.

"A book is made from a tree. It is an assemblage of flat, flexible parts (still called 'leaves') imprinted with dark pigmented squiggles. One glance at it and you hear the voice of another person--perhaps someone dead for thousands of years. Across the millennia, the author is speaking, clearly and silently, inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people, citizens of distant epochs, who never knew one another. Books break the shackles of time, proof that humans can work magic."

"If we do not speak for the Earth, who will? If we are not committed to our own survival, who will be?"

"The Cosmos may be densely populated with intelligent beings. but the Darwinian lesson is clear: There will be no humans elsewhere. Only here. Only on this small planet. We are rare as well as an endangered species. Every one of us is, in the cosmic perspective, precious. If a human disagrees with you, let him live. In a hundred billion galaxies, you will not find another."

_

I would love to have met him, but he died in '96, I believe. It's funny, but he's almost completely parallel to how important and inspiring Matisyahu is to me as well. (Because Carl Sagan was an atheist and Matisyahu is a Jewish rapper/reggae guy.) But I think science and religion are sort of exactly the same things, too. Like how love and hate are really just the same thing basically. Like, again, in The Martian Chronicles Spender talks about how the Martian religion and Martian science completely intertwined. Neither contradicted each other, they were perfect together... They simply were. I mean, both are sort of the same deep down. If you think about it. I think it was Kepler who said this--"Science is my religion." And the opposite is true as well: religion is my science. Both exist. They don't have to be at odds.

I'd walk through hell for you, let it burn right through my shoes, these soles are useless without you

Hey, look! Here I am, writing. What book did I finish... The Four Loves by CS Lewis! What books am I still reading? (That doesn't sound grammatically correct...) Cosmos by Carl Sagan and 1984 by George Orwell! Guess what I'm putting off! Correct! My application to Fordham! Yeaaaaaaah. Look. This time it's not my fault. My parents are both asleep (yes, at 8:30 p.m.) and I haven't exactly memorized my social security number. So. Come on, mom. But I did finally edit my college essay and do a million pages of homework for Marky Mark because he's obviously trying to kill me slowly.




So, I was going to pretend I remembered things from Language & Composition last year and treat The Four Loves like an EPL assignment because it's a nonfiction essay (cough, book, cough) and actually pick out the different EPL things but I can only remember Ethos and part of Logos and good news, that notebook is lost in the dark recesses of my closet. Under my astronomy binder, actually. But trying to get it would be painful and would most likely make me cry, or something. But! I can do Ethos: Extrinsic: CS Lewis? Are you kidding me? Maybe you've heard of something called.... The Chronicles of Narnia? AKA, amazing children's fantasy book series that wipes the floors with Harry Potter? Don't get me wrong, I like Harry Potter, but really, it's no contest. Oh, and if you've only seen the movie version of The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe and Prince Caspian you are missing out so incredibly much. (Again, I think I just killed the English language). Seriously. Those books are soooo much better! I love them! Except for A Horse and His Boy. And the end of The Last Battle is a little disheartening, but... Look, that's beside the point. But I love CS Lewis.
Intrinsic: He really wants to share his view on what he believes the four loves are?

So, yeah, that's basically it. Being nonfiction, I don't really feel comfortable saying it was 'good' or not, nonfiction seems to me to be either interesting or not. This was interesting.

"We may give our human loves the unconditional allegiance which we owe only to God. Then they become Gods: then they become demons." This I thought was interesting. CS Lewis's Christianity is pretty well known, especially through the obvious parallels between religion and various bits in The Chronicles of Narnia, cough cough, ASLAN. Other parts too, but if you don't get Aslan is supposed to be Jesus, come on guys. But yeah. It's pretty well-documented. Anyway, he was a born-again (kind of) so I was worried he'd be a little... intense. However, when I saw this I got excited. Very few people are willing, or do realize that God, angels, demons, are all the same thing, really. Actually, I first read the idea in an early chapter of Berserk by Kentaro Miura and it knocked me off my feet. ("'But if you look at it a different way, it might be proof that there's something beyond human understanding in this world. For instance, what're called gods... or something...' 'Don'tcha mean devils?' '...Who knows? Aren't they the same thing?'") Since I've literally seen the idea in only one other place, I was incredibly excited to see this. A bad mark on my part, but I was scared he'd be a crazy zealot. But to see that kind of gives a strange air of... level-headedness? Admitting that nothing perfect? Abraxes, Abraxes. I don't know.

(Leading off of the above quote--) "Then they will destroy us, and also destroy themselves. For natural loves that are allowed to become gods do not remain loves. They are still called so, but can become in fact complicated forms of hatred." I was actually going to talk (again) about how love and hate are basically the same exact things only in different minor classifications, but I'll actually just name-drop Berserk again, how about that? Griffith from the series led a band of mercenaries called the Hawks and besides looking literally of unearthly beauty, especially in the manga. Most of these people he led were really kids--orphans found on the battlefield, children who escaped from slavery and so on. They had no one but him and the worshiped him. He was given that God-love. High of power and by his own ambition, he goes a little bit crazy, sacrifices basically all of his followers and his humanity to literally become a member of the Godhand, a demigod, acting out God's Will. (There's an interesting theory on God, but I won't get into that now...) Sooo. Yeahhh. Shout-outs to Miura...

"The human mind is generally far more eager to praise and dispraise than to describe and define." Yeah, I've noticed. We are more likely to make it necessary to call a logical fallacy on ourselves than not. I'm calling logical fallacies, too. With my ninja stars of correct rhetoric.

"There may come an occasion for renouncing this love; pluck out your right eye. But you need to have a right eye first." If you're not familiar with what CS Lewis is referring to: "If thine right eye offends thee, pluck it out." From page who even knows in the Bible. Basically, God I love you so much that if you didn't like my right eye (a metaphor, I'm thinking) I would be totally cool with you just taking that eye right out of my head. That... that's a little intense. But I thought it was interesting because it says... well, I think it's saying... you can reject matronly and natural affections, but there has to have been love there in the first place. I took it to mean love of God (in any form), actually. You can reject this religious being, any religious being, but only if there had been something in the first place. If you've never bothered to understand or take some research in the matter, you can't really say "I reject you", because you don't know exactly what you're rejecting. Does that... does that make sense? Well, if it does, then it applies to other things as well: any idea, really.

"The last thing we would want is to make everything else just like our own home. It would not be home unless it were different." What is it... the saying... "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"? If everything's like home... I'd imagine it would feel fairly oppressive.

OH, and CS Lewis complains about patriotism in a zealous form. Yeah? It's because... IT'S A LOGICAL FALLACY, BABYYYY. 'FLAG-WAVING'.

"Affection has its own criteria. Its objects have to be familiar. We can sometimes point to the very day and hour when we fell in love or began a new friendship, I doubt if we ever catch Affection beginning. To become aware of it is to become aware that it has already been going on for some time." / "Elizabeth's spirits soon rising to playfulness again, she wanted Mr Darcy to account for his ever having fallen in love with her. 'How could you begin?' said she. 'I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had made a beginning; but what set you off in the first place?' 'I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.'" (Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, of course. )

"We hear a great deal about the rudeness of the rising generation. I am an oldster myself and might be expected to take the oldsters' side, but in fact I have been far more impressed by the bad manners of parents to children than by those of children to parents." One, oh my God, did he for real just say 'oldster'? Love you! Two, he goes on to say that the way parents more often than not treat their children would be enough to completely sever a relationship with anyone else and it's unfair to assume the younger generation doesn't know anything, because they understand more than the 'oldsters' give them credit for. Then, after all this nastiness and domineering attitudes, adults tend to get agitated at the fact that their children are always out and prefer to be out, especially in other homes. His response to them: "Who does not prefer civility to barbarism?" Being a youngster, I am obviously more inclined to agree with him. It is unfair, and anyone knows their parents can be nasty or whatever. And yeah, at someone else's house, whose parents are going to scream and be nasty to you? Zerooo. So. That's cool. CS Lewis, adopt me? Uh, oh. wait. Damn! (Bring me a gramme!)

"How if the deserter has really entered a new world which the rest of us never suspected? But if so, how unfair! Why us? Why was it never opened to us?" The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Peter and Edmund (Edmond? Can you just be Ed?)? Hm? But the main point he's trying to prove is when people grow up and change we get jealous and reject the new thing, but at the same we sometimes get jealous that they've changed and the change hasn't come into our life.

An interesting bit was when CS Lewis talks about man's need for animals--not only does, say, a dog make you feel like you have family and a loved one, it also gives you a sort of sense of power. This creature is entirely reliant on you because you've babied it. He's not saying beat your animal and starve it, but people make pets (namely dogs) into things unrecognizable from their roots completely. By keeping it from its true potential and 'wild side' (I don't know of a better way to put it) you're kind of "spoiling" its life. I don't know, I just thought it was an interesting albeit unexpected point.

"Two friends delight to be joined by a third, and three by the fourth, if only the newcomer is qualified to become a real friend." I think this is more of a perfect world deal. It's much more likely jealousy will ensue, and so will the feelings of an unfortunate one quick becoming a third wheel. Very rarely will this situation actually arise and exist for any extended period of time. For example, the only friendship in my own life where three isn't a crowd is probably when I hang out with Robby D JR and Emma. There's equality and I don't feel like the third wheel. In pretty much any friendship situation, no matter how good friends I am with one or both, I'm basically always the odd man out. Then again, CS Lewis says "True friendship is the least jealous of loves." Note the true. Feeling the love, Emma? I think it means jealousy in between, though. Not towards the people themselves, just the attention paid, if that makes sense...

"But if Friendship were used for this purpose we might mistake the symbol for the thing symbolized." There's nothing much to say except I wanted to bring up the fact that, while this isn't a deadly sin, it's a dangerous problem (mixing the symbol and thing symbolized). John Milton makes it quite clear in Paradise Lost that Satan cannot tell the difference and often confuses the two, hence why he starts his 'backward' campaign and hence why, or part of the reason why, he is a pitiable character, at least in that context.

"Love you? I am you"--Charles Williams. I liked that quote. It was in a really weird context, though. He was thinking about what it means when lovers say they... 'eat'... each other... Which was just weird. He meant that the intensity of their feelings completely enveloped each other in a roaring, almost violent way, but still. I was like... CS Lewis... you're making me a little uncomfortable. I know the slang has probably changed a little but yeah, I'm just gonna skip a few paragraphs...

"William Morris wrote a poem called 'Love Is Enough' and someone is said to have reviewed it briefly in the words 'It isn't'."

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal." And he goes on to say that basically a life denying love completely and wholly (which I believe is completely impossible, even, say, for sociopath) you're basically in hell. Like, you don't automatically get damned (gramme?) but you literally live in hell while alive. You dig? I mean... you're basically isolated of your own decision. Actually, it's kind of funny because of that saying, you know, "hell is other people." Ironic, maybe. Irony!

"Neither of you now plays conkers." What... what the hell is 'conkers'? They most definitely didn't have N64's of Xboxes back then, so there's no way bad fur days could be involved. Anybody... Anybody laughing? Oh okay, cool.

"To know that one is dreaming is to be no longer perfectly asleep." Yeah, but it's nice when your dream is about an English teacher who has trained dinosaurs to kill you for a chance at a million dollars. Yes, it was Big Mikey. What a weird dream. But in all seriousness, yeah, it's true. But when you're having a nightmare--it helps.

In other news, Cronkilicious lost a book of mine and offered to buy me a new copy... I feel really bad... but I can't remember the title, so maybe I don't have to worry. If he buys me a book in return I'm going to feel like a jerk... I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON!

And Robby D finished Survivor... Yeah, he said the near-the-end scene in the porn landfill was a little strange. Totally forgot about that. Completely. Uh... maybe I shouldn't lend you his other books, because it only gets more awkward from here in.

And even though the date is whatever, we dressed up for Halloween... best outfit, aside from the Pacman group and Quailman? Marky Mark was Montressor. (From 'The Cask of Amontillado'.) As in, "For the love of God, Marky Mark!" "Yes, for the love of God!" Remind me not mess with him. Robby D shaved his beard and left the 'stache for Halloween... Oh God, I don't even want to talk about it. You know how I feel about moustaches. UGH. I don't even like thinking about the... HE LOOKED LIKE BURT FREAKING REYNOLDS. GAHHH. Man, you know who has a really gross moustache? Bob Dylan. This isn't the worst, but I'm taking pity on your virgin eyes. I HATE EVEN THINKING ABOUT MOUSTACHES. It just makes me want to wipe my upper lip. JMHFFLTYDSNJRSZJMFH.

Anyways... As for me? Well, I've written a few plays... and a book or two... perhaps you've heard of me... Oscar Wilde.


(And regarding the title... CS Lewis actually mocks that dramatic love... like... of intense self-sacrifice and all that. But it felt appropriate, you know...)

Tears roll out the eyes and though I cry I hold the wheel steady

Heyyyy y'all! (Does anyone even remember that song?) Let's see.... For some reason I feel it important to warn you that regardless of what I read in November, I'll be posting very little because of NanoWrimo, or whatever it's called... I should... I should figure that out. But fear not! For I am in the midst of three books currently, and today you get to enjoy An Abundance of Katherines by John Green, which is in my humble opinion, a fugging good book. (Ohohoho BOOK HUMOR!)



The book is about a guy, Colin Singleton(ex-child prodigy), who has dated girls only by the name of Katherine. Nineteen to be exact. (Technically eighteen, but you'll see. But it explains why two girls on the cover are the same, which really bothered me before it reveals that fact, though I did suspect.) The book opens after Katherine XIX broke up with Colin, and he's cruised, heart broken, and depressed. His friend Hassan convinces him to go on a road trip, and they end up in Gutshot, Tennessee.

"'Singleton, you need to believe in God worse than anyone I ever met.'" I just like the way this sounded.

Oh, man. This book proved how today's society has messed up everyone's brain no matter what. Colin thinks back on all the Katherines whose bras he'd ever seen, and the number is four. My first thought was honestly, only four!? Duh, he's like nineteen. But I was honestly shocked. I mean, it's not like I'm a promiscuous whore or anything, or the culture of CT is a Feel Good, Inc-esque place, this I feel comfortable blaming on the media and everything. I'm honestly embarrassed about my reaction to that...

"He was nearsighted. The future lay before him, inevitable but invisible." So, that's basically when I realized John Green is awesome.

Oh, there's a scene where Hassan and Colin are being introduced to a group of kids (and by kids I mean other nineteen-year-olds) and they pretend they're French visitors and Colin has tourettes. And hemorrhoids. The reason why I liked it so much is, other than the fact that it was hilarious, it made me think of Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk. Only, instead of pretending to be a visiting Italian duchess with her lady-in-waiting and servant boy they were French kids. Also, they weren't drug-cruising, and no one was undergoing sexual reassignment surgery nor was a secretly gay guy hopped up on estrogen pills or an ex-model with no lower jaw. You know, the usual.

I also love it when Colin gets annoyed at a rooster's cock-a-doodle-doo coming, quite literally, at the crack of dawn. They start at three in the morning and don't stop until seven. I actually don't find it that bothersome being that I owned a rooster and now I could sleep with it no problem. But poor Colin! That must have sucked! I think with Tyson it happened so gradually I lost maybe seven hours of sleep altogether tops.

"'I just want to do something that matters. Or be something that matters. I just want to matter.'"

"'...Son, if there's one thing I know,' and Colin thought about how old people always like to tell you the one thing they know, 'it's that there's some people in this world who you can just love and love and love no matter what.'"


"'We're really boring.' 'You've got to stop saying that, or people will start believing you.'"

"The French verb aimer has two meanings. And that's why he liked her, and loved her. She spoke to him in language that, no matter how hard you studied it, could not be completely understood.'"

"'It's funny, what people will do to be remembered.'"

"If the future is forever, then eventually it will swallow us all up.'" And, a sentence or two later: "The future will erase everything--there's no level of fame or genius that allows you to transcend oblivion. The infinite future makes that kind of mattering impossible."

"And they drove on. Lindsey turned to Colin and said, 'You know, we could just keep going. We don't have to stop.'...Colin pressed down hard on the accelerator, and he was thinking of all the places they might go, and all the days left in their summer. Beside him, Lindsey Lee Wells's fingers were on his forearm and she was saying, 'Yeah. God. We could, couldn't we? We could just keep going.'"

Soo. I guess there wasn't much insight here, but this book was simply a closed circuit. It doesn't really call for introspection, I guess. It's straightforward, but it reverberates. I can't wait to steal Looking for Alaska from Meg.


Let's see... my dad is a Charles Dickens fan, Emma. Apparently, in my case, the apple does fall far from the tree.

In other news, my website, aka my Twitter is now on my profile. Besides that shameless plug... well, you know what Twitter is for, I guess I don't have to explain. Content warning: I'd say PG-13. And ignore the porn spambots that follow me. THEY WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE.

"Bully for you!"

Hey! So, as I guess you know, two weeks ago or something like that I went to Virginia to visit my cousins. We went to a consignment shop, and coolness upon coolness, I found a copy of Natalie Babbit's Tuck Everlasting. I don't know about you, but it was the in thing in our area in fifth and sixth grade. (Maybe as early as fourth, but I can't even remember two weeks ago, so cut me some slack, eh?) Well, mostly because every girl was in love with the actor who played Jesse, but that's besides the point because he was gorgeous and no one can be blamed. Was he even in any other movies? Look, it's neither here nor there. The point is, that the movie came out and the year after we actually had to read the book for sixth grade English, so talk about destiny. And the fact that it's an awesome book, and I can't remember the movie at all except for the one scene where Jesse tells Winnie how old he is.



So, if you weren't all caught up in the craze, let me give you a quick summary: Ten-year old Winnie is a girl annoyed by her overbearing life and her overbearing parents. In order to make true to a promise to a toad (nothing mystical here, really) she finally decides that she will run away. In the woods she comes upon a boy drinking from a fountain and demands she gets a drink too. Boy refuses, suddenly his mother and older brother appear and they kidnap her. Eventually, she discovers that they're immortal: the fountain Winnie observed Jesse drinking from was the legendary fountain of youth.



It's a child's book, so it's a relatively quick book, but seriously, it's a good book. I don't think I really got it when we read it six (six!?) years ago, and I don't think many kids do. I don't know many kids who really would get it the first time around. I certainly didn't understand the ending which I'm not going to spoil for you, but now I think I get why she did it. I don't know if I'd be brave enough to do the same thing, however...



Jesse confuses me. In the movie he seemed romantic and all, so I kind of expected to get that vibe from him again in the book. Wrong. He seemed kind of... selfish. I don't think he really loved Winnie in the book, I just think he was so excited to have someone new, you know? Enthralled with a normal human. But at the same time, it's kind of cruel to call him selfish for acting as he did and asking so much of Winnie: I mean, he's going to live forever. All alone. After I read the book the first time I remember wondering if he'd still be alive if the world were to blow up and the Tucks would be all alone in the great expanse of space, a la Loony Toons. That idea freaked me out. I mean... living forever. I'm scared to die. I think everyone is deep deep down, at least. But at the same time... living that great expanse of forever? You'd get bored. You'd long for death. You'd hate the cowardly little beastly greedy thing you were when and if you made the conscious decision to live forever (in the Tucks' case, regret stopping to drink in that spring) but at the same time, when you had the chance to die, you'd still be scared of it all ending, I'm sure. Try Hellsing by Kohta Hirano out, specifically volume eight. Vlad Dracul, all-powerful vampire, mourns his lost humanity, gets off on getting hurt because he misses the pain of being human--but is sick of it all. He just wants to die. However, when he is almost killed, he panics, cries a little, and then he realizes yes, I'm going to die, and accepts it. But he's still scared is my point. Jaded as he was, he was still terrified of it all ending. He was still human. But--yeah. Even if the Tucks somehow got the chance to end it all... would they really? I don't think Jesse really matured, I think he's still at the mental age of seventeen, and maybe he'd keep it. But for the older Tucks... I think the father would. The mother, maybe. The older brother would be on the fence. I don't know. It's really kind of impossible to predict, you know? Anyway... I think what I was trying to get to was this: "I'd rather die terrified than live forever"--Emily Horne and Joey Comeau

Maybe I'm just ranting, but hey, it means I'm one step closer to traveling throughout time, huh?



The father (just known as Tuck) is so melancholy, poor guy. But I love him. He talks about life as a wheel, constantly recycling and turning, how everyone is born and grows up, maybe has children, and then moves on for the next generation to do the same. And then he says that since he nor his family can't really die, they can't really live--and if he could figure out how to continue that cycle for himself again, he'd hop right to it. "'I want to grow again,' he said fiercely, 'and change. And if that means I got to move on at the end of it, then I want that, too.'" He's so melancholy sweet--like... like the way an old book smells. You know? Maybe not. But the poor guy. He's the most real of all the family. Of all the characters, I love him the most.



"'It'd be nice,' she said, 'If nothing ever had to die.' 'Well, now, I don't know,' said Miles. 'If you think on it, you come to see there'd be so many creatures, including people, we'd all be squeezed in right up next to each other before long.'" I just wanted to mark this because a lot of the time when Kurt Vonnegut speaks of futures, he says something along the lines of population has so increased that people are squeezed together like "drupelets", those little round bits that make up a surface of a raspberry or blackberry. The story I'm thinking of... I can't think of the name of... but it's when old people can decide to get euthanized (for 'patriotic reasons') at death parlors, which are always next door to a Howard Johnson's so they can have their last meal... crud, what's the name? Oh, duh. I was going to say it's in Welcome to the Monkey House--but not only is it the name of the collection, it's the story's name too. Hah!

I love the ending. It's sad, but the bit with a toad is a little crack of a smile at the end. Somehow, it doesn't seem as much of a loss, as long as the toad is alive and well. ...I was trying not to spoil things, but here comes the spoilers...
Jesse gives Winnie some spring water and asks her drink it when she turns seventeen so he can find her and they can be together forever. Winnie, bravely enough, decides nor to drink it--she pours it on her toad. It's--it's better in the book...


I also got an O Henry book. Ever since we read a short story by him in seventh grade, I've been pursuing a collection of his stories that have that story. Fortunately, this was the one--unfortunately... he's kind of terrible. The story in question is 'After Twenty Years', which is okay. I definitely was much more impressed with it when I first read it, but I still did get excited when they talk about noses. I like noses, and I find Roman noses oddly attractive. And I'm always like... OH MY GOD, ROMAN NOSE, JULIUS CAESAR? It's--I'm just crazy. But his stories... are really aged. And yes, he wrote them at the turn of the century--but I'm not cutting him any slack. There are a lot of stories I've read much older than his... and of course the culture and whatever is different... but they don't feel so dusty and stale. You know? His feel like old clothes you found in the old basement in a bag you're a little scared to open because there's probably something dead in there. His stories feel exactly like that. Though, he does use 'bully'. As in, 'bully day'! But still. His stories are hard to pay attention to. Which is kind of a shame, because in the introduction there are isolated quotes by him from his stories which are amazingly awesome or hilarious--but it hardly seems worth looking for them. (Which it wasn't--I was done after one-hundred-twenty some-odd pages.)

"But in time truth and science and nature will adapt themselves to art." One of them, which I loved, because it reminded me of The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury when Spender tells the captain about how the martians' science and religion never were at odds, they intertwined perfectly.

"We may achieve climate, but weather is thrust upon us." Made me chuckle.

The story I did love in here was 'The Pendulum'. Basically, a married man feels strangled in his life. He always feels awkward and stifled around his wife, and loves to be away from her. Come as it may, his wife is away one evening to visit a sick relation. She comes back later than expected, and while he is waiting, he can't help but imagine all these terrible things that must have happened to her--and what an awful person he was for taking her for granted. If and when she came back through the doors he would make up all his indifference to her and treat her as though a queen. However, the second she comes through the door--all he can think of how much he'd rather be away from her and leaves as usual. I don't know... I just really like how it went from romantic, Romeo-esque longing to the reality of it all. It is much easier to love someone while they are away! (I have a feeling I'm stealing that from someone, but who, I don't know...) But yeahhh. Quite a disappointment. It is not a bully day for you, O Henry! But John Green's bully day has just begun...

"A gramme is better than a damn!"

HI ROBBY D 'SUP. I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE SURVIVOR THING I WASN'T TRYING TO BE MEAN. BFFS? (Told you I'd do it, Emma!)

So what I was planning on doing was taking advantage of my price-wavered application to Fordham (like I'd ever get in) but it is scary! So instead, I'm blogging and watching the 'Jerusalem' music video (by Matisyahu). And maybe rapping along. Hey. I'm good at it! Also this music video is awesome. (And so is Matisyahu!)

Finally--enjoy the hypnopaedic quotes I found from Brave New World:
"Everyone belongs to everyone else."
"Ending is better than mending."
"The more stitches, the less riches."
"A gramme is better than a damn." (This will forever haunt me in math and science classes. Forever.)
"One cubic centimetre cures ten gloomy sentiments."
"Everybody's happy now"/"Everybody's happy nowadays"
"Everyone works for everyone else."
"Even Epsilons are useful."
"Never put off till to-morrow the fun you can have today."
"When the individual feels, the community reels."
"Progress is lovely."
"Cleanliness is next to fordliness." (Okay, so this one wasn't one of the hypnopaedic slogans, but I think it's pretty hilarious.)
"Civilization is sterilization."
"A doctor a day keeps the jim-jams away." (I think that one is my favorite. It always makes me giggle a little.)
"A gramme in time saves nine."
"Was and will make me ill."
"Ford helps those who help themselves."

Haha, I didn't even mean to mention--oh, those hilarious parallels. Anyway, I decided to give them their own little bit. Because they rhyme. Man, all laws and advice should be in rhyming. I could get behind it. "I plead the second/it's reckoned/the right/tonight/to bear arms/in yardarms". Okay, it's not a perfect science, but they'd have official law-poeming guys.

Other half of my soul, roots of my tree

Hi! Back from New Hampshire and Vermont! (We ended up skipping over Boston, though...) Checking out colleges, of course. And we went to the pumpkin festival in Keene. It was fun, but hick pride: corn and potato festival, guys! Though my mom still found three or four people she knew, which is crazy. We also found a really cool CD shop in the area. It's called Turn It Up! and according to the bag, the website is turnitup.com... Not that I've checked it out yet. But, the thing is, why they're so cool... They buy used CDs and sell them, and they had some movies and tapes too. But, instead of re wrapping the used discs up and letting you risk a potentially scratched-up disc (FYE, I'm looking at you) they keep them out of the plastic and they even have little stereos hooked up to headphones so you can actually listen to before you buy them. I didn't do that, but hey. Considering the most expensive CD I bought was $8 (and that CD was actually a new, never-been-opened one) I figured I could deal. Anyway, it's not like I was going out-and-out: I bought Barenaked Ladies, Gorillaz, and Matisyahu.


There was also a used books store which was not nearly as cool as the one in Salem (not only was it not a threat to my health, a lot of the books' prices were ridiculous) which I bought a book about the French Revolution from. I almost bought my brother Don Quixote, but the original book price had been $1.78, and they had it penciled in for fifteen. Okay, guys, I know the price is from thirty years ago, but come on. Really? It was kind of a shame. They had a lot of old books, but nothing... good. You know, nothing that you'd be like "Oh, what a classic!" more like "Oh, there's a reason why this was forgotten by the times."


Oh, and you know that new clause that says if you promote something, you have to say if you're getting paid by the company or whatever? For the record, I'm not. But Turn It Up! was so cool.




Okay, so, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. My feelings are basically the same, except stronger: This is a great book, no matter what Emma says! Of course, the problem with rereading a book that you know and love so much is the fact that you get excited for everything before you even pick the book back up. Those first, you know, twelve pages before Mr Darcy appears I could hardly sit still. And before Mr Darcy confesses love... and later when Elizabeth is staring at him the whole time really awkwardly (if I was in her place at that scene you better believe I would have slung him over my shoulder and carried him out of there like a sack of potatoes. Somehow.)... and the end, of course... GAH I LOVE THIS BOOK. I believe this book has done more damage to my already over-romanticized view of love than Aladdin has. Or Disney in general, but Aladdin definitely is the most romantic of them. Only the first one though. I never saw the second one, and because Aladdin's father looks like Sean Connery, it makes it difficult to really enjoy the third one. The show was pretty cool, even though I remember .2 episodes. Uh, where was I?


Oh, right, Pride and Prejudice. Because it got about a paragraph last time I've decided to write more about it. Also, if you have the film version (and I do mean the Colin Firth film version) stop holding out on me!

Oh, and a note: Even though I saw the movie at least five years before I read the book, I don't automatically picture Mr Darcy to be Colin Firth or Elizabeth to be whoever played Elizabeth. Usually that is the case, so I thought it odd that it didn't coincide in my brain. I picture Mr Darcy to be a combination of Colin Firth, Snape, and Oscar Wilde. An attractive combination. Elizabeth doesn't really get a celebrity lookalike bit. She just kind of looks... how I picture her. As for the other characters, I like pretending Collins looks like Scrooge, or some other nasty Dickens character. Collins is a creepy fellow. But I just thought it was kind of interesting... IE, no one else cares.

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife." One of the best introductions ever. Maybe I should just go about kissing Jane Austen's boots. Maybe...

"To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love..." Thank you, Jane Austen. Talk about a kick below the belt. Hey, but how many other girls can do a Charlie Brown like me? Not many. Heck, I don't even know if that's what the youngens call it nowadays.

"'A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment.'" Yeah, this sounds like something Oscar Wilde would say, doesn't it? I guess I can't tease Jackii too heavily for thinking they were buddies. Not knowing their ages or birth and death dates, it does sound like Austen collaborated with Wilde. She does have Oscar Wilde moments quite often.

"'I cannot comprehend the neglect of a family library in such days as these.'" Mr Darcy, if you could sing 'A Whole New World' I think you'd be perfect for me. Pony express me sometime, bro. Or whatever you British do. Hook that hansom up!

Hahaha, oh, this bit will give me carpal tunnel for writing, but it's worth it. This is basically where Darcy gets his imagined Snape-ness from... You know, maybe I sort of imagined him as Colin for the first bit, but as it went on his image changed. I never really thought about it till later, when I actually realized I was picturing him as somebody different. But, he's so Snape in this. Darcy (His first name is Fitzwilliam! Can you believe that?) is writing a letter to his sister and a girl who wants to be his ball and chain is basically looking over his shoulder is being giggly and annoying: "'How delighted Miss Darcy will be to receive such a letter!' He made no answer. 'You write uncommonly fast.' 'You are mistaken. I write rather slowly.' 'How many letters you must have occasion to write in the course of a year! Letters of business, too! How odious I should think them!' 'It is fortunate, then, that they fall to my lot instead of to yours.' 'Pray tell your sister that I long to see her.' 'I have already told her once, by your desire.' 'I am afraid you do not like your pen. Let me mend it for you. I mend pens remarkably well.' 'Thank you--but I always mend my own.' 'How can you contrive to write so even?' He was silent. 'Tell your sister I am delighted to hear of her improvement on the harp; and pray let her know that I am quite in raptures with her beautiful little design for a table, and I think it infinitely superior to Miss Grantley's.' 'Will you give me leave to defer your raptures till I write again?'" Really, with every response can't you just hear that droll 'Mr Potter' voice? I certainly can. Don't let the girls wear you down, Mr Rickman!

"'It is from my cousin, Mr Collins, who, when I am dead, may turn you all out of this house as soon as he pleases.'" Uh... Thanks for bringing that up. You kind of just ruined our day. Cool. Did you even discuss this with your wife? Why bring up death on such a nice day!? Talk about a buzz kill.

Aha, there's a scene where Elizabeth accidentally accepts Mr Darcy's hand to dance and while she is upset and mulling over it, Charlotte tries to console her by saying Mr Darcy is quite "agreeable". Elizabeth basically responds with no, he's horrible and I hope I never consider him to be a good person. Irony!

"'Your sister is in love, I find. I congratulate her. Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then.'" Maybe Oscar Wilde had a Ouija board....

"'We do not suffer by accident.'" Amen to that, sister. Jane Austen, I wish you weren't dead or I could have been born in right era so we could have been friends. Actually, if I'm going to suddenly believe in past lives... Maybe we were! And maybe Jane Austen was reborn as Oscar Wilde... See, he couldn't help it! He just happened to truly be a woman deep down. So--sorry I divorced you...

I love Mr Darcy: "'In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.'" "'But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you.'" "'My affections and wishes are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this subject for ever.'"
And last, but certainly not least: "Elizabeth's spirits soon rising to playfulness again, she wanted Mr Darcy to account for his ever having fallen in love with her. 'How could you begin?' said she. 'I can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had made a beginning; but what set you off in the first place?' 'I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun.'"

Guys out there! Take a lesson from Mr Darcy!

Well, what else really quickly? I saw the Carrie movie a few days ago. Have I written about it already? Well, it was actually pretty good. It was a lot easier to sympathize with Carrie, for sure. Instead of being dull and, to be honest, 'bovine-ish' as I imagined her, she was a pretty girl. Not exactly gorgeous, but not ugly. I didn't recognize the actress from anything else, but she was a perfect fit for the title role. The mother was much less intimidating in the film rendition. She first appears as a soft-spoken sweet-looking woman with a mellow Southern accent. I thought this was so she would really freak you out when she snapped at Carrie, but she wasn't nearly as scary as I feared she'd be. Freaky, but my imagined version of her scared me much more. I pictured her nothing like she is in the movie, and of course she's much more intense in the book.

One bit that confused me was that statuette of 'Jesus' in Carrie's closet. There's a saint who was killed in that manner, but it wasn't Jesus. Not that I can remember which saint, but let's be fair, there's at least one thousand. And if not one thousand, a huge lot in any case.

The scene where she's covered in pig blood isn't too scary either. My dad's a liar!

Where the Wild Things Are

Ah, first: Where the Wild Things Are. What a good movie. It was... full. It was great. I cried. Which we've already established happens basically whenever I watch a movie, but.

Okay, so at first I was a little nervous. Of course, you know, "Oh God, Hollywood is attempting to hang my childhood again. Damn you, Hollywood." (The Fantastic Mr Fox movie looks awful. Absolutely terrible. And creepy. Like The Mouse and the Motorcycle movie from the eighties/early nineties.) But okay, I decided I would see it after I hear Maurice Sendak, the author, enjoyed it. If he enjoyed it I figured it had to be a good movie--he's a very dour old man who in his old age has grown to rather dislike children. (My middle school art teacher met him and shared this with a bit of surprise. I was a little saddened to hear this too. Fun fact... Did you know he lives in CT?) And it was a good call. I mean, it's different from the book. Of course it is. The book has, as everyone is so apt to remind us, "less than ten sentences". I always saw it as Max wanted to live in a place where it was wild, and it overwhelmed him and he went back home. Actually, I never really thought he missed his mom at all. Though I could be skewing facts a little, because at the moment I'm in a 'where the hell is this book' phase.
But, in the movie, Max is a sad kid, dissatisfied with his life: his sister never plays with him any more, she never comes to his aide or even really pays attention to him. His mother is divorced and devotes a lot of time to work--and her wet noodle of a boyfriend. (Seriously, he's the wussiest guy ever. If I was the mom I would have screamed at him. "YOU ARE NOT HELPING THE SITUATION!") After throwing a tantrum out of frustration because he wants someone to care for him, to see him and whatnot, he runs into the woods which lead him to the ocean he sails across to find the island.
The movie really isn't meant for kids. Not many kids will understand it too well, I think. The movie is Max having revelations about himself and life. Carol and the goat-thing represent two of the main feelings in his life: distraught with the need to act out violently, and the feeling that no one is listening. KW is an obvious representation of his sister, and I'm not completely sure, but Judith may be his mother and Judith's wild thing (he makes her heart sing) is either his father or the boyfriend. You never meet his father, so it's hard to tell. With these in mind, as Max is growing and is suddenly happy in the end when he goes home... (no spoiler alerts. You have no excuses to not know the end already) Well, it might be hard for a kid to tell exactly why. As you can see though, it's a little hard to tell in the book too, or maybe I was a particularly stupid kid. And how!
I guess the movie is kind of... a retrospective on childhood. The roots of it, I mean. Not the whole sailing away to a distant land and finding an island of wild things thing. Of course, who hasn't done that, really? Douglas and I are tight like you wouldn't believe. I mean, the director has said it's a movie "about growing up" at least ninety-thousand times. At least. But... well. Like I've said, I don't really know what I'm doing with these reviews, but it's a great movie. I was touched.

PS. I just looked it up, and Sendak was born in 1928. I guess we can forgive him if he's become a mean old man. At that age I'd probably hate everyone too.

PPS. Pride and Prejudice as soon as possible. And Tuck Everlasting. And maybe An Abundance of Katherines.

Feel Good, Inc.

Hm, first off: All my rec letters but Borkowski's have been completed. Hooray, I get to go to college! So that's cool. And, in an effort to bring home the fact that Oscar Wilde > James Joyce to Marky Mark, I brought in the action figure. He was mightily impressed and commending me on its awesome when Robby D came in and Marky Mark insisted I show it to him: Verily, I say they were both quite impressed. Robby D was cracking up.


Robby D: "That's so dorky, you're actually cool!"

Marky Mark: "In our eyes you're really cool--like up here. In your peers' eyes, however..."


Robby D was like, "Maybe I'll put it in your recommendation letter!" But fortunately, he didn't. Haha.


Well, then: otherwise my amusing x-block (Marky Mark's class was fairly hilarious too) I am finally getting off my butt (or actually, down on it) to write up a bit on Brave New World by Aldous Huxley.

It's the future--a future not nearly as oppressive as Anthem, but still fairly oppressive and behind. Society technology-wise is impressive (baby-incubating machines!) but people are very infantile. Everyone 'worships' (for it is claimed they are atheists, but--) Henry T Ford, the creator of mass production. Is creator right? Well, it's as close as you can get, I guess. LSD ('soma') and sex are the basic activities of everyone, whenever they want. Oh, and people are split into castes by intelligence and stature which is tweaked with while babies are still in their incubating machine things.

Ah, and people are controlled through classic conditioning and hypnopaedia. Hypnopaedia is learning through what you hear in your sleep*, kind of like that episode of Dexter's Lab where he tries to study during his sleep by playing the French record and ends up just learning 'omele du fromage' instead. Classic conditioning is... well, think of it as how you'd train a dog: when your dog goes outside, you praise him and maybe give him a treat. When he has an accident in the house, you'd yell at him. Eventually he learns to only go outside because he likes being praised and prefers it to being yelled at. I bring this up because we get an example of this early on with a set of Delta babies. They're shown flowers. Naturally, the babies are attracted to the beauty and begin crawling to the flowers. Babies get too close: Sirens ring, an electrical current threaded throughout the floor electrocutes them all. This is repeated until the Delta babies learn to hate and fear the beauty. Why? Because if they take vacations to enjoy the beauty, they aren't consuming. The whole society is based around production and consumption with hardly another point but that continual cycle, all in honor of Henry T. (I wonder if he was still alive when this book was first published? Wonder how he felt about it, if he was...)

Ah, yes, and Henry T has also been given the credit for everything. Well, kind of: He is accredited with first saying "History is bunk" (certainly not the case!) and with Freud's works. These are the only two cases I can spot, but I'm going to assume he basically receives credit for anything pre-Brave New World society. Jeez, Henry T!

Bernard is an annoying coward, for the record. He acts as though he hates society--but he doesn't fit in because although he is an Alpha Plus, his stature is too short and likes doing things alone, and has a million little things that make him difficult to fit in with everyone else. So he is upset and agitated, especially with the rumors flying about that the reasons why he has all these undesirable traits is that there was "alcohol in the blood-surrogate." But, as soon as he has John and everyone loves him, oh my gosh society is awesome I'll talk to you later I've become an overnight womanizer. And ergh... he just annoys me. Though Bernard is an awesome name, and I did name my Beanie Baby hedgehog that. But that is besides the point.

"'I'd rather be myself,' he said. 'Myself and nasty. Not somebody else, however jolly.'" Good job being a hypocrite, Bernard! High five? Oh, and to be fair, Tyler's theory on this holds water as well. He felt left out in society and unaccepted so he was grumpy and upset. Thus, when John came and everyone loved him, he decided society wasn't all that bad--because he was happy. He was in a good mood. So everything was better. Which may be repeating what I typed above, but seeing as I actually argued with someone about it as a class assignment instead of pretending Dante can hold a conversation and has read the book made me feel the need to bring it up.

"'Do you see that damned spot?'" I love John for this. He's referring to blood, of course, but even more, he's referring to Shakespeare's play Macbeth, which happens to be my favorite play of Shakespeare's.

"'For instance,' she hoarsely whispered, 'take the way they have one another here. Mad, I tell you, absolutely mad. Everybody belongs to everyone else--don't they? Don't they?' she insisted, tugging at Lenina's sleeve." This is scarier. Like I may or may not have said earlier, there isn't really such a thing as marriage or a monogamous (is that the word?) relationship. Life after work is one continuous orgy. The lady saying this, Linda, is John's mother--forced to leave the 'civilized' society because she became pregnant. She was forced to move to an Indian reservation, and after all these years, upon Lenina and Bernard's arrival is ecstatic to see people from the old world. Of course, she feels the need to speak in length that she shares Lenina's disgust about the people, and how strange their customs are, and all that. But, she is so entrapped by the 'civilized' society's view the Indians' idea of marriage and monogamy scares her. She is scared to care for just one person, and to love. To love! To feel something more than lust for a person, beyond that. Good God. Can you imagine? I believe that's the most sinister part of Brave New World, over the soma and the discourage of knowledge and encouraging orgies and all that. To fear something like love and real, true affection.

Linda's death is also frightful. The people in Brave New World's society have been desensitized against death. They are taken to see the dead and dying hospitals and then given chocolate cream or eclairs, so eventually they'll just associate the death with the treats... I think they were given soma too. Basically government-issued LSD. So when John discovers Linda dead and makes a fuss, the nurses all become quite irritated: "As though death were something terrible, as though anyone mattered as much as all that!" Basically saying corpses aren't worth mourning for.

Ooh, my favorite chapter is chapter sixteen. Following Linda's death, there's a whole scuffle, involving Bernard and Helmholtz. John, Helmholtz and Bernard are dragged off to the Controller. This man is an Alpha Plus of extreme intelligence--in fact, he is on the same level as John. He understands where John is coming from. He understands what John wants. So why doesn't he agree and reform society? As uncomfortable as his truths are--"'Universal happiness keeps the wheels steadily turning; truth and beauty can't.'" Stability and progress and so on... beauty clouds the views. Truth makes it difficult for people to focus on and stick to a certain goal. Sure, you may not have Shakespeare or God (though this argument confused me, Henry T Ford's presence made it feel very much like they were worshiping him) but you no longer have social instability. No one is never in danger. "Everybody's happy nowadays", so says the hypnopaedic slogan. This may sound sick, but, it doesn't sound too bad. Who doesn't want safety? Even the Controller, although he is saddened and lonely because no one else can share his knowledge and whatnot, is smart enough to know that these means really are necessary. And why someone who was such an obvious dissenter in his early years would be chosen for such a position of power... I'm thinking it's like how men in the IRS are ex-tax cheaters themselves. Fraud...ers. I... I'm trying! Anyway, I was basically the only person in the class who rather pitied the Controller. I felt bad for him, being all alone at the top like that.

A quick note on Helmholtz: He's one of my favorite characters in any book. He has the feeling society isn't quite right, but he isn't suddenly throwing away all his old values and norms from that society. He doesn't suddenly understand and accept new beliefs like something so simple as drinking water. John reads Shakespeare to him and says something about mothers--and Helmholtz cracks up. Regardless of his feelings of discontent, he still can't suddenly reject everything he was raised upon, like every character in everything else seems to quite easily. High five, HH.

"'Christianity without tears--that's what soma is.' 'But the tears are necessary.'" I'm quite fond of chapter seventeen, too. Both of them are tied for number one.

"'Isn't there something in living dangerously?'" My personal belief is if you haven't come close to dying, done something stupid while knowing you could easily be dragged to the bottom of the sea or hitting a tree (I decided to see if it really was impossible to fall down a mountain today. I was doing great till I landed on a patch of wet leaves.) or what not you haven't really gotten the full palate because you haven't had that exhilaration. Not only the fear, but the ecstasy afterwards when you realize you're not dead after all. Too make up for the lack of this in the lives of the people in Ford's State (So much less obnoxious to type than Brave New World every time! Do they actually ever refer to it as Ford's State in the book?) people are injected with VPS, which basically floods the system with adrenaline. It makes the body react the way it would react to fear or rage, but without actually feeling it and letting it hold you. "'...Without any of the inconveniences,'" as the Controller. John, fed up, retorts: "'But I like the inconveniences.' 'We don't,' said the Controller. 'We prefer to do things comfortably.' 'But I don't want comfort. I want God, I want poetry, I want real danger, I want freedom, I want goodness. I want sin.'"

Unfortunately, being the idiot I am, I seem to have left my Contemporary Lit folder in my locker, so you'll have to wait until probably Wednesday to get the hypnopaedic list. Normally I wouldn't care so much, but I do want to include them. I'd wait, but you guys have been waiting for, on average, a thousand years.


Oh, and I watched Eyes Wide Shut last Friday. It is, I believe, Kubrick's final film. Uh. You know how I often talk about how much I like Kubrick? Well. And as for Kidman... oh, I was so excited after seeing The Others. She was so terrible in this movie. The movie was terrible. But she was worse! This movie... Kubrick had to have been high as a kite. A Clockwork Orange (also Kubrick) was a freaky movie; it's supposed to be. This weirded me out more. No lie. There's a scene where Tom Cruise goes into a weird orgy underground cult thing. What? Then they're like, "You're an outsider, Tom Cruise..." Then a girl dies, Cruise thinks it was murder on the cult's part, it was just an OD, then he reconciles with his wife. No, I didn't get it either. The only things I have been able to come it with were: The sex cult was like fight club, only with sex instead of fighting. The second is my theory of what the movie was supposed to be about. Which would be: always in movies, an event isn't just an event. It always leads to some vendetta or scheme or what have you. What I think Kubrick was trying to do, or what I'm pretending he was trying to do was say, what if it was just an isolated event. Oh. Cool idea in theory, but there's a reason why no one else has touched it.

Aside from that, it was kind of really shoddy. I guess Kubrick was probably pushing 70 or so, so we should cut him some slack... but grr. It was so--compared to his other works--KUBRICK! Man. It was a bad movie from start to finish. Its saving grace was the fact that Tom Cruise looked gorgeous in it. And even then, I was paying a lot more attention to the puzzle I had on the ground in front of me. With a cat on it. Maybe that was foreshadowing to the fact that I'm going to end up as a crazy cat lady. Aw...


The reason why this took so long to post is I've been incredibly busy. Two essays and a project, and I was in Virginia for the long weekend. How long did it take? Well, today's the opening day of Where the Wild Things Are.

EDIT: Normally I would make you connect the title with the post if there's a connection worth having, but I think the Feel Good, Inc music video lends itself well to Brave New World. It's by the Gorillaz.

I'm gonna get you one better: baddest one around

My Oscar Wilde action figure came in the mail today! Awesome. His main weapon? Wit. Unlike Meg's Marie Antoinette, whose main weapon is her flying unattached head. Anyways, the point of this wasn't to brag. Well, some of it was. But! Most of it was to talk about the movie Zathura.

I haven't read the short story it's based off of, though I'm sure I don't need to because everyone has read 'Jumanji', owns the game and has seen the movie. They're by the same guy. Uh... not that I could tell you who. But come on guys: 'Jumanji'! Anyone reading this has to know it.

The point is, whether you know 'Jumanji' or not (shame on you!) this is basically the same. Only in space. And no, there weren't any elephants stampeding in space, which after reading this comic, well... I kind of wanted there to be. But when I tell you these films basically were the exact same thing, uh, yeah, they were. Except without the ironic twist at the end, which is unfortunate, and actually I can't even remember if it happened in both the story and the movie of 'Jumanji' or just the story. Only in space. With really scary lizard aliens that had me screaming at the kids: "OH MY GOD YOU IDIOTS HAVEN'T YOU SEEN JURASSIC PARK BEFORE!?" There are very little commas when I scream. Fact. Seriously. Okay, but no, I'm being mean. Regardless of the similarities, this was an enjoyable movie. Even if I spent the first half wanting to kill Walter. What a brat! Though, if I was named Walter, I'd probably have a lot of anger to work out against the world too. The thing that most annoyed me, though? The six-year-old asks his father to play Smash Brothers (as in 'Super') with him... and he's carrying PS2 controllers. Okay. Come on. Favorite? When the older sister regrets renting the movie Thirteen and watching it with her father. Oh, okay, and that cool time-rift thingy with Walter. That was different from Jumanji. Oh, and their house! Best house ever. Pajama Sam made me want a dumbwaiter.

Oh, right, the movie itself: good. It actually did scare me, but I do have a natural fear for anything that naturally resembles a dinosaur. But it was really cool! Space! Black holes! Aliens! Woah! I was excited for it. Seriously, there's no reason why it shouldn't be the Jumanji of this--generation? Sixteen going on fifty. But really, is there even a Zathura board game? So far as I know, no. And it would be a seriously cool board game, too. I mean, it would have to be changed a little, of course, but I don't think I ever flooded the house while playing Jumanji either, so... And who my age doesn't own Jumanji the game? Zero. (Actually, my math tutor didn't even know of the game, but he's twenty-six and therefore a geezer. Sorry Danny!) But really. Marketing problem? Has to be. Too cool. Man, I'm making my own Zathura game! I was going to use this poster board for my astronomy project, but I doubt Mr Washburn will even notice if I hand in my Scorpius one from last year.

Maybe it was the lack of Robin Wlliams. Oh man, I bet. Ugh! How do I not own Jumanji! It's so good! Well?

Mm, you know, I read a book that was kind of like this, only terrible. Interstellar Pig by William Sleator. Man, I don't care what awards it got. There were some really cool parts, but it was killed by the fact that it was poorly written and put together. And he wrote a sequel!? Oh, William. William.


You know, now that I'm thinking about it, that lion in the bedroom scene from Jumanji is kind of a rip-off of an episode of The Twilight Zone. There's an episode where this guy angers a Voodoo witch doctor somehow and starts imagining he can hear and see creatures of the jungle all over what I'm assuming was NYC. At the end, terrified and shaken he opens the door to his bedroom--to find a hungry lion waiting on the bed. It gets up to pounce, and the camera cuts away, and that might have been the most nasty implied ending to a Twilight Zone ever.



Uh... was there a point to this post? You should--you should probably just read Joe's review.

JANE AUSTEN HATES MEN.

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello! I'm British today! Know why? Because I finished Emma by Jane Austen!

It was a good book. Jane Austen has done no wrong by me. At first Emma (the main character, not the book itself) really annoyed me. Then I realized that she's female, and guys, all women act like that. It's a fact. So, in that case, what I hated in her was something I saw in myself that I hated? Isn't that what they say about disliking something about someone? Maybe? But yeah, Emma's flip-flopperie is a result of the fact that she's female, not because Jane Austen is a bad author. Which she's not.. Sooo.....



So, I'm still in love with Pride and Prejudice more. Knightley's nice, but Mr Darcy takes the cake. (Teacake? Shortbread? Sweetmeats? Mr Darcy takes the sweetmeats? Hahaha. Disgusting.) Mr Darcy aside, it's still the truth too. But! Emma is a good book, nonetheless. Mr Darcy would only have, sadly enough, impeded the story's progression.

Anywayyys. this felt much lighter and more comedic in comparison. Which maybe it wasn't supposed to be, but between getting agitated at Emma 24/7, I was constantly cracking me up, and it's probably that which kept me from eating the book. That's right: becoming so annoyed at the book I would devour it. Well, the fact that I realized every female is exactly like Emma helped too. Guys, remember what I said 39 or some-odd posts ago (this is number 40! can you believe it?) to read Pride and Prejudice if you really wanted to hook that girl? Read this if you want to try and understand them. (Of course, it's impossible to, but this book makes it much clearer than anything else ever could. Really.)

"'Emma shall be an angel, and I will keep my spleen to myself till Christmas brings John and Isabella.'" No... No, that's okay. You... You keep your spleen. Really, I'm good. (Psyche! She doesn't mean literally, dope! She means her complaint. Jeez, people's spleens just didn't pop out at a predetermined date back then... or did they? Where are my Darwin books?)

I kind of thought it was funny how crazy Emma and Harriet go over the poetry Harriet receives from Robert Martin. Why? In Pride and Prejudice Elizabeth throws poetry-writing under the bus--basically, she says it kills love, and nothing kills it quite so efficiently and quickly. Excuse me, throws it under the hansom. Sorry.

"'Oh, no! I hope I shall not be too ridiculous about it.'" And how! I deeply hope as well.


This is also the first book I've ever seen with the word 'haberdasher' in print. YES. (Henry T Ford: Son of Haberdashers?) Man. Man. Why isn't haberdashery a real line of work anymore! If you think I'd want to be a teacher if a job like that was available, well. ("Ford's was the principal woollen-draper, linen-draper, and haberdasher's shop united.")

"'...And I recommend a little gruel to you before you go. You and I will have a nice basin of gruel together.'" Gruel! Yes! Best. Day. EVER.

"He argued like a young man very much bent on dancing..." Kevin Bacon?

"'I must buy something at Ford's. It will be taking out my freedom. I dare say they sell gloves.'" No, you mustn't dare to say such a thing! It is far too controversial! Bring not your ideas about gloves up! Think of the children! THE CHILDREN!

Oh, Emma gets burned so bad, and I cracked up. I think that's what made me love the book. Jane Austen is awesome at writing burned scenes. "'Surrey is the garden of England.' 'Yes, but we must not rest our claims on that distinction. Many counties, I believe, are called the garden of England, as well as Surrey.' 'No, I fancy not,' replied Mrs Elton with a most satisfied smile. 'I never heard any county but Surrey called so.' Emma was silenced." Boom! Roasted! Hahaha.

"'Why, really, dear Emma, I say that he is so very much occupied by the idea of not being in love with her that I should not wonder if it were to end in his being so at last.'" Hate is basically the same thing as love when it goes on long enough. When you dislike someone long enough, you can't help but noticing them, hearing them/their name, and becoming curious about them. I can dig it. The ending of this quote is actually "'Do not beat me.'" Emma, you bully you!

Mr Knightley. Grr. Welcome to the spoilers. It's so annoying! As soon as Emma thinks Harriet wants to marry him, she's immediately like "Mr Knightley must marry no one but herself!" Which makes me doubt that, although Mr Knightley is a cool guy (though he's no Mr Darcy, of course) and all, she really loves him and their marriage will be happy. Emma (as in my fellow bloggeur, not the nineteenth-century matchmaker) thinks it was the fear of Harriet being in love with Mr Knightley is what made Emma the matchmaker realize her love. Ugh, but it just doesn't seem real! And with Frank Churchill... grrr... Though Mr Knightley certainly seems sweet enough. Guys, you could follow his examples too. Jane Austen, stop making me be in love with your characters. Seriously, not fair.

Oh, but I'm glad things worked out for Robert Martin in the end! High five, Robby M! Hehe. Robby M, the haberdasher.

"'Do you dare to suppose me so great a blockhead as not to know what a man is talking of?'" There were many romantic things Mr Knightley said, but I'm pretty sure I just died laughing.

Ohhh hey. So good times. I need to find some more of Jane Austen's books! Uh, yeah. I'm rereading Pride and Prejudice. So. Mr Darcy/Mr Knightley bar fight? Oh dang, Colin Firth can probably rip open a can like you wouldn't believe. Good luck, Mr Knightley.