Pats on the back for me!!! And ICE CREAM!

I have completed NanoWrimo! At 50578 words (51029, according to Word's word counter) and 129 pages I am DONE! YAY ME. Oh look at how cool I am. Now I can actually do things again. "Sorry I applied late to your college, but I wrote a 50,000+ word long story YOU JERK!" Maybe I won't put it quite that way... Anyway. I'll probably get back to writing in two or three days (as I know you've been waiting on the edge of your seat for updates from me). I need to take a break for a while. Catch up on my Harvest Moon playing, you know, the important stuff...

"Every light must fade, every heart return to darkness!"

Ten guesses as to the book I just finished. No--not the comic book series of the first Kingdom Hearts. (Though I do own it...) It's Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad! And now that we have that lame Kingdom Hearts reference out of the way (the title) we can continue unheeded.

The book is based on Conrad's own travels up the Congo river, told in the form of the character Marlow. It's not up my alley. At all. I feel I should confess this before we move on. Maybe I didn't understand it (very possible) or what have you, but I just wasn't very interested. To be fair to Conrad, however, he is a very eloquent writer. He had very nice little statements and bits, it's just, the whole of the book didn't really capture my interest. Not my cup of tea. I'd say it's about a five or six, but Joey said he'd call it a nine or ten. Okay.

My favorite part came incredibly early in the beginning, probably only four or five pages in. In fact, there is no 'probably' about that statement. "'Now, when I was a little chap I had a passion for maps... At that time there were many blank spaces on the earth, and when I saw one that looked particularly inviting on the map (but they all look that) I would put my finger on it and say, 'When I grow up I will go there.'" Awww, it reminds me of myself when I was a tyke! Why? Well, I didn't do exactly that, but when I was a kid (until I was in about 4th grade, probably) I hadn't really ever taken a good, close look at a globe. I had only seen flattened maps. Since I had only ever seen all the world flat out in front of me like that (I was aware that the world was round, for the record) I didn't understand what the 'other side of the world' was. I thought there was some hidden, unmapped thing that was all jungles and full of mystery and adventures, and dinosaurs and Greeks and Egyptians that had preserved their ways. (I was always big into Greek history and culture and Egyptian mythology.) Imagine my disappointment when I studied a globe closely for the first time. Globes are the most depressing things in the world.

"It's queer how out of touch with truth women are. They live in a world of their own, and there has never been anything like it, and never can be. It is too beautiful altogether, and if they were to set it up it would go to pieces before the first sunset." If I had a nickel for every author I know that's commented on this fact... I'd have at least ten dollars. I don't mind, I think they're funny. (Wasn't there an episode of Fairly Odd Parents where they split the world into the guy half and the girl half?)

"I don't like work--no man does--but I like what is in the work--the chance to find yourself. Your own reality--for yourself, not for others--what no man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means." Basically, your outward appearance and your actions can never translate as fully to another person's mind as they do to you. How you perceive life is hidden, even if you're a madman, and the picture of life you have can never really be told or understood by anyone else.

"I take it, no fool ever made a bargain for his soul with the devil; the fool is too much of a fool, or the devil too much of a devil--I don't know which." I'm still puzzling over this one a little bit. Assistant Emma, care to throw in your two cents?

"'Intimacy grows quickly out there,' I said." (IE, in the jungle--on the Congo.) There's something very sweet about this that I like. It seems to carry a little wistful nostalgia, and like Marlow had a soft look in the eyes. I don't know how to explain it. I guess all the meaningfulness in this rests with my imagery, which is my own reality that is what no man can ever know! Oooooh, high five me!

This copy of the book (stolen from my teacher) also has Conrad's story The Secret Sharer in it, which I liked by leaps and bounds more. Like, if Heart of Darkness was a six, The Secret Sharer was a nine. The ironic thing is, I have no little eloquent bits from The Secret Sharer to share (secretly). The thing the book I disliked lack made me love the other. Buuuuut. Let's see, it's about a new captain of a ship. While taking an on-deck stroll, he discovers a man in the water and takes him up and hides the man in his chambers. So... that's cool. I don't really have anything more to say, so I'll write you later! Now, I get read about the Romanovs...

Shankspeare Faint-Not Sauce-Box

Back at school. Correction, back at school during the school day and not at one a.m. The only book I brought with me is The Terrible Tudors and Slimy Stuarts, another Horrible Histories book. I wonder if British kids--I guess adults now--ever see the books and go "Terry Deary! Mr Deary, I remember him! X grade history teacher! Good times?" If Marky Mark's books ever get published you can bet I'll do that. Anyways, you know how I feel about Horrible Histories books already. Hypothesizing and theorizing is kind of hard and not possible to do about pretty clear history such as this, so I'll be making brief and superficial comments, which are always awesome.

Background before we start, the Tudor era was from 1485-1603. Stuarts lasted from that end to 1714.

"1. Open sewers ran through the streets and carried diseases. 2. Toilets were little more than a hole in the ground outside the back door." Oh, how the mighty have fallen. First of all, the first flushing toilets were made in ancient Greece. By the dark ages, however, they were gone and we didn't get them back until... I don't even know. As for the streets, the famed 'first' city of Sumer was supposedly a mess similar to this--but visiting Indians (from India, not North Americans) made their own city based on improving that--clean, well-made gutters and defined and hidden sewers...

There is a sort section of speculation on Chris Marlowe's death. I don't even know why. Colin Firth did it! Didn't you guys see Shakespeare in Love? Okay, so he was all "I didn't do it I only rejoiced for I thought it was you" but he really just has failing eyesight and a lust for blood.

Want to know some popular Puritan baby names in the Stuart days? Helpless. Fight-the-Good-Fight-of-Faith. Kill-sin. Faint-Not. Search-the-Scriptures. And my personal favorite, If-Christ-had-not-died-thou-hadst-been-damned. Can you imagine just trying to call your kids to dinner? Or naming them that? Suddenly the names I have on my baby-naming list don't sound so strange, do they?


Wellll. So far, that's it... I seem to have found Mr Darcy's twitter, however.... http://twitter.com/DarcyToYou
Yes! I'm tweeting in an old-fashioned manner from henceforth. This is absolutely hilarious.

Big Brother is Watching You

First off, I am writing this at my school's annual write the night. Replace 'Heidi' with 'Angela' and this will probably happen at least once tonight: Even more appropriate because Marky Mark is hosting this event, with brief visitations by Robby D and Big Mikey. And hopefully Kool-Aid. Oh yes, Kool-Aid.

In case if you haven't guessed, I am on 1984 by George Orwell, which is an incredibly awesome book. For those of you thinking it's kind of like the Fairly Oddparents movie where gorillas take over, yeah... that's the joke. Those silly Gorillaz...

It's a totalitarian society set in, duh, nineteen eighty-four. It's the more pessimistic brother to Brave New World. (I don't feel I need to get into greater detail--after a while it's like, uh duh. Think of the comic book version of V for Vendetta. Cameras everywhere, watching everyone, everything is controlled and rationed. Fascism and bahh. I'm sorry; I can't concentrate. I've been stocking up on sugar all day and DISNEY SONGS.

There is the fear of Big Brother and the thought police, who are ready to spot you and kill you even if you so much as act a little bit different because that means you're having rebellious thoughts and must be killed. A bit like the SAT proctors. I mean... how would they find out if you've spread it around? Are they monitoring you? Yes, and then they take you out behind the chemical sheds and shoot you. IT IS LOGIC.

Early on, Winston says that when he drinks gin he imagines that it perspires through his skin. (This will be important later on! I didn't make a note of it the first time around, but this time I was all OH HEY NOW I GET IT MORE. THANK YOU MARKY MARK.) When I drink cream soda, I pretend it's gin and I'm Winston and all my problems are disappearing too! Does that make me depressed, or a pseudo-alcoholic? I've never drunken gin, for the record. I AM A GOOD PERSON.

"'Who controls the past,' ran the Party slogan, 'controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.'" See, the first part it kind of depends. Obviously, if the old controllers are overthrown, the future can't be controlled by them... oh wait. I'm being stupid again! That can apply either way, and basically just reinforces the second half... Ooh, how deliciously evil. I can dig it. Oh, wait, that would make me a terrible person. But you have to admit, if you're on top, nothing like that would be bad. Well, until V makes a deal with your second-hand man who you mercilessly verbally abuse.... Crud.

Ooh, my favorite scene is next. Winston's job is to falsify records and make up records, and the one we see him creating is a record of a Comrade Ogilvy, a model citizen in every respect. Winston's closing comment to his work is: "Comrade Ogilvy, who had never existed in the present, now existed in the past, and when once that act of forgery was forgotten, he would exist just as authentically, and upon the same evidence, as Charlemagne or Julius Caesar." I tried arguing the possibilities of this point in my journalism class last year, but Heidi was most opposed to it. But really, what an interesting idea! I mean, do we have for sure evidence that, say, the Caesars were real? That Charlemagne was real? A few texts mean nothing, arguably. I mean... Myths. They were over exemplified truths (we think) so who's (whose?) to say Vlad Dracul's murder sprees aren't the same? (Be nice, I can't think of anybody.) Or that anything is real! Reality is a lie! Find me a hippie commune! Now.

"Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious." Yes, it contradicts itself and makes you want to eat someone's face. But... it kind of makes sense. I mean, it never says anything about attaining full consciousness, right? I mean, just realizing something is wrong and should be differently could arguably be enough to make you say I want to change this. I want to uproot this. Which would be the thought of rebellion... and then after they rebel they have the whole world ahead of them... I think I lied. I have no clue what I'm talking about.

Oh, and a funny thing is that the party obviously wants to make the past seem awful and terrible and all ("Everybody's happy nowadays!") but when they talk about how awful the capitalists were--they always mention the top hats. Those damned top hats! Out, damned top hat, out! I disapprove. You know how I feel about Victorian-era dress. But... see, my theory is... you know how HG Wells apparently considered not wearing a hat a sign of insanity? They creators knew it was insane and by banishing top hats they banished sanity! Man, I'm like Bill Nye over here. Solving problems and stuff.

Winston ends up having a secret (for a while) affair with a girl named Julia... and he calls her a rebel "from the waist down". Exactly. She's just in it because she really likes sex. Her rebellion is a normal teenage to parent rebellion--I don't like your ways because they're your ways. And since they disprove of sex, she's just like sexy times all the time. So... that's fun. I guess. GAH. THEIR REBELLION ISN'T REAL AND THAT PART I HATE.

Also, there's this long scene where Winston is telling someone who he thinks is part of the Brotherhood (the rebellion) all he'd do for them--yeah, it sounds like in V for Vendetta (the movie) when Natalie Portman was like I'll help you, even if it means people will die and then chickens out. Winston doesn't have the guts for it, and Julia would maybe do it just because she's being a normal angry teenager who likes sex and throwing acid at children's eyes.

Also, a book Winston receives says that war is necessary for man to keep in touch with reality. Even less than that, conflict. Yeah--paradise can't exist. Being happy eternally is the same as being mediocre for eternity is being nothing for eternity. It sounds unpleasant. I'm not so much for war, but I am for interpersonal conflicts.

"'Sanity is not statistical.'" / "The point is, if there was only one person alive, it would be impossible for him to be insane." A paraphrasal which I can't possibly cite properly, because of course, the book with the quote in it is at home and I'm in school. At 8:57 PM, regardless of what Blogger claims.

"'We do not merely destroy our enemies, we change them.'" Basically a character in my NanoWrimo story's mantra. He totally brainwashes his enemy into becoming his most loyal vizier in an act of revenge that's a little too complicated to get into now.

Winston's greatest fear happens to be rats, which made us kind of bros, because my greatest fear happens to be mice. But the thing is, see, he's being threatened with the rats in these cages... and although I'm scared of mice, I'd only be scared if they were out of the cages. If I see mice in cages, I don't even care. Oh, it's a mouse. When it's out of a cage, however, that becomes OH SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS ALLAH BUDDHA THERE IS A GODDAMN MOUSE. And often much more foul language comes out too. I--I don't like mice. But my point is, good luck threatening me, O'Brien. Unless if you happen to have access to the first Jurassic Park movie, but too bad you destroyed it already! Yes! I win! I deserve candy! FEED.

All right, so that's cool. I guess I'll get to Nanowrimoing now. And making up various other verbs. So... bye?

God and death are none of my concern; I'm no philosopher

Woah! Apparently, blogger can now be accessed from school! So, maybe you will get updates from me in November... Like I said before, the reason why I'm really not writing is because of Nanowrimo, which I'm about 2,000 words behind on anyways. My story is confusing as hell and terrible, but that's beside the point. It's a free writing thing, 1500 words a day for a goal of I don't even know at the end of November. Somehow, someone weeds through all these and decides on one to be published, which is why I have hope for my awful story, because I read the one that was published a few years ago and wow! Ah... uh. How do I say this diplomatically? It was no Macbeth. It was no Hamlet. It was about a Romeo and Juliet. Maybe I'm garnering bad karma here, but dude. It was bleh.

Anyways, because I keep on forgetting to put my NanoWrimo on a hard drive I was just messing on the computer and here I am. Wishing I brought my Faustus book like I was planning to. However, I can complain about it without the book in hand. So, first off, the author, Christopher Marlowe, was the man of the time. After he was killed, Shakespeare was the coolest guy around, but Chris Marlowe was the main-er man. This book (play) of his is like the book of his. It's about Dr Faustus, an apparently accomplished doctor who decides within the first two pages suddenly that he wants to have the power to bring men from the dead. I hated Frankenstein, but Victor at least thought it out. Dr Faustus was just like, you know what I'm going to do today? Sell my soul to Satan. So the beginning was kind of sort of definitely rushed. (According to Wikipedia, Goethe's rewrite pins him as a man who wants more than earthly pleasures, IE, "earthly meat and drink." Which I think I prefer, gives him more of a back story, which Marlowe's chorus kind of failed at.)

One thing I can remember is Faustus demanding a wife from the demon he named his servant for his lifetime, Mephastophilis, and M. (you think I'm retyping that? Not in this lifetime.) summons a demon woman and Faustus says "Oh! What a hot a whore!" which made me practically die laughing. Just being honest... it was pretty hilarious.

What else can I remember off the top of my head? Faustus had an annoying personality, it was actually quite similar to Pip from Dicken's Great Expectations (bear with me on this). Pip started Dicken's book as a poor kid who wanted to be rich, then a rich kid who decided no, that wasn't so great so he made people's lives miserable, and I think somehow he became lower class again (though I've repressed it, so...) and then marries a girl who abused him as a little kid. Throughout all this, he wheedles and whines and whilst reading I often fantasized about hitting him over the head with a stovepipe. Basically, he was never happy, and he was a 'woe is me' fellow and nothing was ever great. Dr Faustus was basically the same--right after he trades his soul over to Satan he starts panicking (no sympathy, bro, it's not like you didn't know the end results) and regrets, but then somehow calms down again and goes to make everyone's lives miserable with his new demonic powers. Then he is going to die and cries that he's going to hell. It may seem a little mean that I'm calling him whiny, but seriously--he is warned a million times about this by M and even Lucifer, and even he's like oh eternal damnation! Crud! Aside from that, ugh. He and Pip have the kind of personalities I would kill someone for. Or maybe just punch them in the face.

Uh, what else? Later, Faustus sees Helen's summoned ghost (the Helen; Paris's Helen) and says the famous lines: "Was this the face that launch'd a thousand ships, and burnt the topless towers of Illium?" Which was awesome and may have been my favorite part just because I had no idea where those lines came from. I don't recall if they're said exactly in The Illiad (for example, they say she launched a thousand ships, but not exactly in this verse) unless if I missed it, but if not, it's kind of cool that this is where those famous lines came from. I love those lines, even if I can't figure out why Chris was so popular.

EDIT: An interesting scene is when M. talks about his life with Lucifer and how he came to fall into such state. (Faustus, the genius, asks M. where M. is damned. Uhhh, duhhhhh?) Even after wishing he could save M.'s soul (M. describes his fall in quite thorough detail, too) to give him thousands of souls (noble, and sweet), he still goes ahead with trading his soul over to Lucifer. Uh, what? Idiot. Speaking of Lucifer, Satan and Lucifer were trending topics on twitter today. Why...?

"'...Or as beautiful/As was bright Lucifer, before his fall.'" I never get this. Lucifer, before falling, was said to be beautiful--so beautiful his very skin glowed and sparkled as though from within (I'm paraphrasing from several sources) but obviously he's usually pictured as a red humanoid being with goat horns and goat legs and a tail. (I'm thinking it was inspired by Pan, a Greek god who was a bit of a trickster, loner, and kind of mean to humans.) I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS. I can imagine a subtle change, in the eyes or face, becoming cruel, hard, or narrow, but not such a dramatic change like this. There's no satisfying mythology regarding this (I don't really recall a thorough description of this change in Paradise Lost, just that his mindset had changed) and in church, I've noticed, they never seem to touch upon the darker things, here is a good example of an Episcopalian lesson: "Jesus was a good guy, and told many parables. One if his followers, Judas, was jealous and greedy and sold him out." Satan does appear on and off in the bible (I think the only time he physically appears in Jesus in the desert) but he's always... demonized. The stories we learn are always archetypes, like he was a wicked man, and then he was good. Jesus was always good. Moses was always good. (Until I saw The Prince of Egypt, I had no idea he beat an Egyptian man to death). Satan, always bad, never did he dream of anything more. (Accept my extremely biased opinions, thanks to John Milton). So, I think Lucifer's visage stayed just the same before and after. I mean, doesn't Satan come in a beautiful visage? Or something like that?

They make a reference to the tale of the hunter (I'm not spelling his name) and Diana--a hunter in the woods came across the goddess Diana bathing, and she became so enraged she splashed him with water and he turned into a doe and his own dogs turned upon him. Is it odd I like that one?

A servant calls someone "Sir Sauce-box". That probably was his job (or something like that) but. SAUCE-BOX. OH MY GOD. Shankspeare Sauce-Box??? Oh my God, yes. YES.

I know I'm just reiterating, but those lines about Helen are incredibly poetic. I'm keeping the book for those lines.

THE END.


What else have I read? I finished 1984, The Cartoon History of the Universe Volumes 1&2, and am currently in the midst of The Terrible Tudors and Slimy Stuarts (A Horrible Histories book!) and The Arabian Nights, which the publishers decided would be made better if they only collected ten out of the original 250+ stories from The Thousand and One Nights. (Whose idea was this!?)

In other news, I need a nap badly.