Shankspeare Faint-Not Sauce-Box

Back at school. Correction, back at school during the school day and not at one a.m. The only book I brought with me is The Terrible Tudors and Slimy Stuarts, another Horrible Histories book. I wonder if British kids--I guess adults now--ever see the books and go "Terry Deary! Mr Deary, I remember him! X grade history teacher! Good times?" If Marky Mark's books ever get published you can bet I'll do that. Anyways, you know how I feel about Horrible Histories books already. Hypothesizing and theorizing is kind of hard and not possible to do about pretty clear history such as this, so I'll be making brief and superficial comments, which are always awesome.

Background before we start, the Tudor era was from 1485-1603. Stuarts lasted from that end to 1714.

"1. Open sewers ran through the streets and carried diseases. 2. Toilets were little more than a hole in the ground outside the back door." Oh, how the mighty have fallen. First of all, the first flushing toilets were made in ancient Greece. By the dark ages, however, they were gone and we didn't get them back until... I don't even know. As for the streets, the famed 'first' city of Sumer was supposedly a mess similar to this--but visiting Indians (from India, not North Americans) made their own city based on improving that--clean, well-made gutters and defined and hidden sewers...

There is a sort section of speculation on Chris Marlowe's death. I don't even know why. Colin Firth did it! Didn't you guys see Shakespeare in Love? Okay, so he was all "I didn't do it I only rejoiced for I thought it was you" but he really just has failing eyesight and a lust for blood.

Want to know some popular Puritan baby names in the Stuart days? Helpless. Fight-the-Good-Fight-of-Faith. Kill-sin. Faint-Not. Search-the-Scriptures. And my personal favorite, If-Christ-had-not-died-thou-hadst-been-damned. Can you imagine just trying to call your kids to dinner? Or naming them that? Suddenly the names I have on my baby-naming list don't sound so strange, do they?


Wellll. So far, that's it... I seem to have found Mr Darcy's twitter, however.... http://twitter.com/DarcyToYou
Yes! I'm tweeting in an old-fashioned manner from henceforth. This is absolutely hilarious.