Leave! Now! And never come back!

Well, I have officially completed my waltz with Lord of the Rings. It... has... finished! Wait, wait. Before I start on how in love I am with this series, I need to curb my excitement to share my excitement about the other cool thing that happened to me today: well, I was at an estate sale and happened to pick up my cousins' old copy of Slaughterhouse-Five from '78. Nelson even wrote in it a little, providing illuminations such as "[My sister] is a turd". Oh, you! Anyway, it's... it's pretty cool... because it's not all generic-like, like basically all the buyable (new) Vonnegut books are now... so... yeahhh.



Yeah, but, back to that waltz and all. (Where did that even come from?) Oh wow. Oh wow, yes, it was incredible. I'd be lying if I said I believed the third book to be as good as the first two (I have to say, I believe The Two Towers is my favorite) but that hardly matters because oh my God this series. I was practically jumping out of my skin to finish the book (and likewise, I am so to finish this post) so yes, I'd see the end--but also, to put it in the Classics* shelf. Let's goooo!



Again, I feel no need to summarize or reiterate why there's no real need to summarize, or shouldn't be. Come on, even I had seen the movies! And I'm pretty sure that, before the events of the last month or so, I was the only person on this entire planet who had never read the trilogy.





"And upon its thrust-out knee was the Guarded City, with its seven walls of stone so strong and old that it seemed to have not been builded but carven by giants out of the bones of the earth" (8). Ignore the fact that 'builded' looks weird--Tolkien purposely writes to sound archaic, and built is probably just the more modern rendition of the word (sounds Tudor, if you ask me...) Why I quote it is because I just really like that phrasing--"bones of the earth". It sounds so cool!

"'Which question shall I answer first?' said Pippin. 'My father farms the lands round Whitwell near Tuckburough in the Shire. I am nearly twenty-nine, so I pass you there; though I am but four feet, and not likely to grow any more, save sideways'" (29). I know, you're sick of me saying it, but the hobbits are just too adorably awesome. Can I please just marry all of them. No, it wasn't really a question... it's happening.

"'Where will wants not, a way opens, so we say'" (70). Again, that whole Tolkien is making up--or in this case creating a root--of sayings thing. Of course, in this case, it'd be the root to "Where there's a will, there's a way". I think.

"'But in desperate hours gentleness may be repaid with death'" (80). I feel like this, in some respect, sort of shows Denethor's corruption, or confusion, for he is not completely evil, but he's very... muddled. Denethor is Boromir and Faramir's father. But what I mean is, well, you know how Boromir attempted to take the Ring? A few paragraphs later, Denethor says to Faramir that he wished Faramir had died in Boromir's stead which is pretty bad to begin with, and then he goes on to say that Boromir would have "remembered his father's need" and brought him a "mighty gift" (80; both). Of course, the Ring. Which is also pretty bad. But going back to that first quote... Back in the medieval days, honor was your god. You never struck an unarmed enemy, you never struck at the back, you never took advantage in 'cowardly' blows, et cetera. If I'm correct (we'll see what Marky Mark has to say on all of this) then we can equate this sort of honor with the 'gentleness'. So, what Denethor is essentially saying is, "don't spare, kill whomever however and to hell with your chivalry and honor trash". Which is bad, because the king is supposed to be the holiest of holies, and always uphold that sort of thing... uh... yeah. Sorry if this is coming out convoluted. Did I mention it's one AM?

"'Why? Why do the fools fly?' said Denethor. 'Better to burn sooner than late, for burn we must'" (95). Denthor, you may be a little off in the head, but that's pretty much the coolest line in the book(s).

"'But tell me, are you hurt, or wounded?' 'No,' said Merry. 'Well, no, I don't think so. But I can't use my right arm'" (136). So... that's a yes, then?

Okay, this may be a spoiler, as I can't remember how this scene plays out, or if it plays at all, in the film. So be forewarned. But, Pippin is pretty much in the midst of the madness of the battle and instead of hiding or trying to escape, he decides he'll spend his last bit of life fighting (Northern courage!) and starts attacking all he can reach. Right before his stamina is completely spent: "...it heard voices, and they seemed to be crying in some forgotten world far above: 'The Eagles are coming! The Eagles are coming!' For one moment Pippin's thought hovered. 'Bilbo!' it said. 'But no. That came in his tale, long long ago. This is my tale, and it is ended now. Good bye!' And his thought fled far away and his eyes saw no more" (177). I loved this because of the reference, all of that tying in and such--I don't know, something resonated with me. I also loved it because had Pippin actually died, his last thought would have been "Good bye!", which is sort of funny. Like, he had just enough to wish us all farewell... No, he didn't say anything heroic. Just bye. Yeah, I'm surprised he could focus that much, too.

"Already the Ring tempted him, gnawing at his will and reason. Wild fantasies arose in his mind; and he saw Samwise the Strong, Hero of the Age, striding with a flaming sword across the darkened land, and armies flocking to his call as he marched to the overthrow of Barad-dur. And then all the clouds rolled away, and the white sun shone, and at his command the vale of Gorgoroth became a garden of flowers and trees and brought forth fruit. He had only to put on the Ring and claim it for his own, and all this could be" (186). Well, we know the Ring seduces people by tempting them with what they want. Power, armies, women (Sauron definitely did it for the girls). Sam loved gardening. He loved plants and flowers and fruits. The flaming sword thing is great, but that's just icing on the cake--what he'd really like is the plant life, and to be such a successful gardener. I understand all of this, but it doesn't make the image in my head any less goofy. Tolkien certainly didn't intend it that way, but it can't be helped. Sorry, JRR!

"'Don't orcs eat, and don't they drink? Or do they just live on foul air and poison?' 'No, they eat and drink, Sam. The Shadow that bred them can only mock, it cannot make: not real new things of its own'" (201). I find this interesting and note-worthy in light of Tolkien's religion; he was Christian. (Incidentally, he re-introduced CS Lewis back to Christianity.) Now, I cannot site exactly the source--though I feel very strongly that it's a footnote from Paradise Lost--that Satan cannot create, he can only pervert what God has already made. The line is almost completely the same. Just pointing that similarity out, there. (Fun fact, in an attempt to google the exact quote, I came upon this Yahoo! Answers question: "Can Satan read our minds/know our thoughts?" Maybe it's the fact that it's 1:26 AM, but I found this quite hilarious.)

Oh, here we go, get ready for some serious foreshadowing. Gollum unsuccessfully attempts to accost Frodo and he just snaps: "'Begone, and trouble me no more! If you touch me ever again, you shall be cast yourself into the fires of Mount Doom!" (237). I see what you did there. And less so, Gollum works a little more to seal his own fate: "'Let us live, yes, live just a little longer. Lost lost! We're lost. And when Precious goes we'll die, yes, die into the dust'" (237). Yeah, you will. Well, if by 'dust' you mean fiery lava-y death. Ooh, now I'm getting mean though. I really do feel bad for Gollum, even if he's a shifty little nasty creature, he certainly is pitiable. And Samwise Gamgee being incredibly mean to him doesn't hurt his pity-factor. Sam, this is why we can't be friends, which is kind of a shame, because you're so sweet otherwise.

I felt so bad for Bilbo. When all (sort of) is said and done, Frodo meets back with Bilbo, who's practically become a senile old man. It's kind of disheartening. I know I'm not big on The Hobbit, but I really really really love Bilbo!

Oh, and my problem with the end. After (spoiler!) Faramir is wed, I was kind of like... "And they all lived happily ever after!" Ten pages later: "Happily ever after!" One mini-plot later: "I AM GOING TO BLUE SKIDDOO INTO THIS BOOK AND PHYSICALLY HARM SOMEONE." Yes, I understand the bit about Hobbiton was necessary. You may or may not remember this, but I believe I mentioned the goings-on in Isengard were meant to reflect what had happened to Tolkien's sleepy little home as industrialization and I believe the war increased. Well, Saruman is allowed to escape and moves onto Hobbiton. Hobbiton is reclaimed for the hobbits and the destructive forces are driven away. This is meant to symbolize what he wanted to do--take his home back to what it had been, make it beautiful again, fix it. I can appreciate it in that light. But I'm not a big fan of how it actually played out; I liked Marky Mark's summary much more enjoyable. I think I may just have a problem with JRR Tolkien's endings or how he wraps things up. I mean, Smaug's death and after turned me off to the whole of The Hobbit as a kid, and I still wrinkle my nose past that certain point. And this--well, similarity. I didn't detest the whole ending, but that tad bit bothered me intensely. I think he tries to write in that little extra bit of conflict at the very end, when the reader (or at least when the reader is me) is trying to wind down. The war with the goblins in The Hobbit--and this battle for Hobbiton--you see what I mean? They're kind of nestled in, even though the basic conflicts are basically over and done with: Smaug is dead and the Ring is destroyed. QUEST IS COMPLETED, GO HOME. Though, according to Marky Mark, the goblin war is necessary to show Bilbo's growth, and I guess the bit with Hobbiton provides closure with the Isengarders. Fine. You win this round, Tolkien.

"'I wish I could go all the way to Rivendell, Mr Frodo, and see Mr Bilbo,' said Sam. 'And yet the only place I really want to be in is here. I am that torn in two.' 'Poor Sam! It will feel like that, I am afraid,' said Frodo. 'But you will be healed. You were meant to be solid and whole, and you will be'" (335). Oh yeah; Frodo's definitely matured. You can tell just by the way his speech has changed. He sounds older and wiser (though if I recall he was always Sam's elder, by twenty years or so, or perhaps I'm thinking of his age in relation to Pippin or Merry). You know? This is the sad sweet goodbye word. While we're talking about sweet things, while I'm thinking of it, I love Legolas's and Gimli's friendship. Big hugs all around? Yes? Sounds good!

For the most part, I skimmed the appendixes; the only parts I paid tight attention to was the story of Aragorn and Arwen. For the most part, any other really riveting things had already been outlined by Marky Mark. So... yes...

Well, there you have it. Go read the series; I commandeth thee. Really. I can't imagine a reader disliking it, unless if they didn't like to read or didn't like fantasy or what have you and in that case I respond with hey. Why are you even reading this blog then? Huh? Yeah. That's what I thought.



Oh, and just as a note, I finished this book hiding from the law, AKA teachers. I signed out early to visit a Brit lit class (I would) and remembered there was a student teacher. I didn't know where to go, so I hunkered down in a hallway that I thought would be secluded and began to read because I really had no other choice. It turned out, the hallway just happened to have rather heavy traffic that day, but absolutely no one even batted an eye to my being there (not even either teacher that came upon me); they were even less surprised to find that I was reading up there. And, even lesser surprised than that, to see I was reading Return of the King. It was actually pretty pleasant. I'm going to start doing it more often.





*The 'Classics' shelf is a special shelf designated for books that have not only won my favor, but that I turn an objective eye on and decide whether they should be considered important or rereadable for future generations, and many other odd ins and outs. It's just how I roll.



PS. For those curious about the titles for these LotR posts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE-1RPDqJAY
Just because it's funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yqVD0swvWU

PPS. Just kidding about that 'never come back' thing! Really!




EDIT: So, I was kind of right about the thing with Denethor. Marky Mark has told me that, yes, Tolkien honored the medieval honor system highly (greatly?) and by including Denethor admonishing Faramir for showing mercy, Tolkien is saying, "This guy is a worm and definitely not honor-worthy". Only he said it with eloquence and a lot of paragraphs that were dense but apparently I was still able to understand. And apparently Denethor's quote about burning is just proving himself that he's a coward, which I didn't understand when I first wrote this up, but after reflecting on this do: he'd rather give up and kill himself. Well... I still think it's a cool quote. So there.