Ohohoh, won't you carry me home? It's the last time in my life that I'll ever try.

So, at that awesome bookstore that was an avalanche waiting to happen I bought The Dharma Bums and Big Sur. I just recently finished them both, and I figured it would make more sense to do a double feature.... Brad and Janet. So, since I read them in order, (they're both a part of the 'Duluoz Legend') I'll post them in order too. Incidentally, I'm posting them in order of favorites too.

So, oops, I should've mentioned both of these are by Jack Kerouac. So, of course, both books are about his travels and life, and for the most part I believe they stick to the truth, but I wouldn't be surprised if he made parts of the accounts fictional. In both books. In Big Sur, I sincerely hope some scenes were fictional. But you'll see when I get there.

First, fun fact!: The Dharma Bums was the first Kerouac book I've ever read. Like I said, I like it a lot more than Big Sur. It's much brighter than Big Sur (Big Sur is also very upsetting) and there are some darker spots but blah blah blah let's get this show on the road.

Hahaha, I didn't even mean to do that. I am so funny.

Okay, so my first quote comes right before chapter eight, at which point Jack is in the Californian town of Bridgeport. "Bridgeport is a sleepy town, curiously New England-like, on that plain." Not really anything, I just thought it was kind of funny because there is in fact a town in New England known as Bridgeport right here in CT. I guess that's not too surprising, I just thought it was sort of funny.

"'You can't live in this world but there's nowhere else to go,' laughs Coughlin." Truth. As for the characters in these books, Coughlin and Cody and Billie etc, all names have been changed. I forget who Coughlin was in real life, though I'm sure it's listed in the introduction, but I hate reading introductions. Especially for Kerouac books, all they really seem to do is depress me before I've even started. The only introductions I enjoy in general are Kurt Vonnegut ones, because his don't drag like a twenty pound sack of potatoes. But where was I? Oh yeah. In the beginning of Big Sur, Jack has a note that said he will one day combine all the books in the 'Duluoz Legend' where he will change all names to uniformity and such, because his editors suggested they be changed from book to book. That's not really having much to do with the quote, but I just thought it was worth noting. AND IT'S TOO LATE YOU JUST READ THAT ALLLLL.

Okay okay okay. This coming quote I love. This, among others, were one of the things that made me drop my jaw and love this book and Kerouac. "'But I don't like all this Jesus stuff she's talking about.' 'What's wrong with Jesus? Didn't Jesus speak of Heaven? Isn't Heaven Buddha's nirvana?' 'According to your own interpretation, Smith.'" Yes, yes, yes! What Smith said, Heaven=nirvana, is just what I believed previous to reading this. Well, not exactly, but the fact that all religions had the same roots and the similarities that could be drawn meant they were exactly the same, just people saw them differently, but why didn't anyone else realize they were all the same deep down? But I was so stupid, because that was just my interpretation! That doesn't mean it's the truth! I was being the big jerk! High five, Jack Kerouac! Thank you!

"I've got my full rucksack and it's spring, I'm going Southwest to the dry land...'" / "The day's get longer and the nights smell green. I guess it's not surprising but it's spring and I should leave"--Modest Mouse ('World at Large') Ohh. So that's why I kept on listening to that song over and over while I read this book the first time. The mystery's been solved, gang! Oh, and because of all that stuff I wrote about in that essay, Robby D. PLEASE DO NOT RETROACTIVELY FAIL ME. THANK YOU.

Ah, I like this one too. Ray gets picked up hitchhiking by a couple and explains to them about Buddhism and reincarnation and such during the drive: "'You mean other chance to come back and try again?' asked the poor little Mexican... 'That's what they say.' 'Well goddammit next time I be born I hope I ain't who I am now.'"

"...Then I'd find something like a dead crow in the deer park and think 'That's a pretty sensitive sight for human eyes, and all of it comes out of sex.'" Sex is death, death is sex, happiness is sadness, sadness is happiness, et cetera. (Think: The Lion King.) Later on: "'Bad karma automatically produces good karma.'" And vice versa. Reading that and realizing that practically knocked me off my feet. I think I would have read Big Sur either way, being on the list and all, but that quote basically set up my love for him. Sure, someone else said it, but it's here.

"...I knew that shack and that mountain would understand what that meant, and turned and went on down the trail back to this world."

Too bad blogger freaks out about emoti-hearts and -cons....

And, I noticed a little wink. If you have this http://therilla.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/dharma_bums.jpg copy, you get the little flaps with the pictures. I halt from calling them 'comics', but... Anyway. Obviously, Ray, the main character, is supposed to be Jack himself. So there's a scene in the book which is drawn in that front flap, which is Alvah, Ray and someone else talking about poems. Alvah quotes what he believes are one of the poems Ray wrote in Mexico--which really is one of Jack's poems from Mexico City Blues--but Ray gets haughty and shouts "That's not it!!!" I don't know if that scene was meant to be a wink or what, but now that I get it makes me chuckle a little. I got so excited when I read the quoted poem in Mexico City Blues, too. One of the few things I got excited for in that book, too.

Anyway, this is what made me love Kerouac, so it must be pretty damned good, huh? I mean, if you're a stickler for grammar and punctuation and such you're going to start off a little annoyed, but it gets easier after no time. Might I suggest you don't just read this to pass the time during, say, jury duty (Dilbert read a book once while on jury duty, so it must be what people really do) or on a plane or in a plane terminal with screaming children, yelling people, or just general loudness, disarray, and hubbub commencing. Read it in a quiet place where you know you won't be disturbed. This sounds corny and totally teacher-ish, but I guess that's a good thing for me, but dedicate yourself to this book. Hold on, Jackii had a great quote for this sort of thing...
"The best moments in reading are when you come across something--a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things--that you'd thought special, particular to you. And here it is, set down by someone else, a person you'd never met, maybe even someone long dead. And it's as if a hand has come out, and taken yours"--The History Boys
Yeah, that's the one. This book was that for me. Basically the whole thing was that for me. I love this book.

Anyways, to change the mood, onto Big Sur, which I ripped into with great gusto after having read The Dharma Bums. Ehh. Written three of four books later, at this point, Jack's life has taken a turn for the worse and he's sinking in his alcoholism. So the flavor is a lot different, and I spend the whole book biting my lip and looking concerned.

In the very first of the book, Jack complains about his popularity--how "pathetic" groups of teenagers and reporters are breaking into his home or meeting him on the street in the hopes of him taking a liking to him and such, and obviously, because they like his books and want to emulate his lifestyle. He attributes this madness to On the Road, but from what it says here and in Desolation Angels I'd like to think it was The Dharma Bums that really did it. You see, Desolation Angels came before The Dharma Bums, and in it he mentions fans coming to see him, and he's a little annoyed, but his annoyance hasn't reached its peak--and in this book, not only is he fed up but he's desperate to get the hell out of there and escape this pulsing mass. Reason #2 is because one of the very last straws that broke the camels back were a bunch of, again, "pathetic"-looking teenagers wearing coats they painted 'Dharma Bums' on the backs of. (Desolation Angels, The Dharma Bums, Big Sur, in case you were getting confused. Trust me, I know I'm not the clearest writer.)

Ah, another one of Jack's catalysts are the constant death of animals in this book. Fed up with his fans, he escapes to a shack by the sea. There is a mouse there, and at first he's disturbed by it, but he decides "my days of killing mice are over" and starts leaving out a little plate of cheese and chocolate for the mouse sharing the shack with him. Before he leaves he leaves a case of rat poison open on the top shelf, in the hopes that to another tenant it will look like he did keep the rodent problem in check, but while thinking 'his' mouse won't be able to reach it. Of course, his mouse does, and when he finds the body of a mouse in the area he knows it's his mouse, and beats himself up for it. Later on, there's an incident involving a little otter... and this, I don't remember, but the poor thing is found dead, and again Jack considered it 'his' and blames himself for its death. I want to say he accidentally killed some other animal too, on accident, but I can't remember what it is if there was one. So, you know, he's just sinking deeper into depression, thinking that all he can do is destroy. Along with this, early in the book his mother writes him to tell him his cat Tyke has died, whom Jack viewed almost like a baby brother, and of course he loved Tyke dearly. So he is just not in for good times here.

"I felt completely nude of all poor protective devices like thoughts about life or meditations under trees and the 'ultimate' and all that shit, in fact the other pitiful devices of making supper or saying 'What do I do now next? chop wood?'--I see myself as just doomed, pitiful--An awful realization that I have been fooling myself all my life thinking there was a next thing to do to keep the show going and actually I'm just a sick clown and so is everybody else--All all of it, pitiful as it is, not even really any kind of commonsense animate effort to ease the soul in this horrible sinister condition (of mortal hopelessness)..." And he goes onto describe how sad and depressed he must have looked, staring at the sea and realizing all this. What has he realized? Basically, everything he has believed in, be it Buddhism or Catholicism, is really nothing, because you'll still die. That all of these things exist so you don't have to think about the inevitable and you'll feel safe and happy forever. But whatever you do, whatever you believe, you're still "doomed, pitiful." Yikes. Another reason why I didn't like this so much. It's depressing reading about a man who's losing his faith, especially in first person like this. The books follows his life, and it's like a funnel, as it goes on it gets more depressing and you go down and down deeper and he's sinking into the madness and his end. And you can feel it. It's not an easy thing to read.

"It's as familiar as an old face in an old photograph..." I like that opening sentence, but I'm not a fan of where it goes. Read the book!

"'What are we gonna do with our lives?'--'Oh,' he says, 'I dunno, just watch em I guess'..." That's the point, I think. I guess.

Okay! Scenes that I hope to be falsified, even though in my heart of hearts I know there's no way. On and off towards the end of the book, Jack has an on-and-off sexual affair with a woman named Billie. She has a four-year-old son, and the father of the boy isn't in the picture. Now, the thing is--the first night they're having sex and the little boy doesn't want to go to bed or had a nightmare or whatever, so he runs to his mom's bed--to find the two of them, you know, entangled. So Jack is like we have to stop Billie, this isn't good for him to see this, et cetera, but Billie pulls him into it and forces him to continue and finish, while the poor kid is stunned and "drooling long slavers of spit" which was perhaps what disturbed me the most. So later, Billie is cuddling up to Jack, and trying to sit in his lap and stuff, and the poor kid is begging his mother not to do it--obviously, the kid has been weirded out by this which anyone could have predicted. The third time, Jack and Billie are having sex again, and again, the boy hears it or whatever and comes in, and tries to pull on her arm and whatnot begging her to stop please. And this time, Jack Kerouac is the one who gets fed off--he pushes the kid away and screams at him "stop what?" and to shut up and go away and such. That. That is just awful, and it makes me want to hate him--honestly, the two books are almost written by different people. It is impossible for both books to exist for me at the same time and thinking they're by the same guy. Nope. And that poor kid! Christ, every time I read that part or think of it, I just want to sock Kerouac a good hard one across the jaw.

And okay, if I've said it once, I've said it a million times--I don't understand poetry. But, there is one line that I think I get at least, from the poems included in the back. Regardless of my understanding either way, this line stuck with me. I don't know why, but it did: "We'll jelly you, jellied man." I don't know. It did is all I know.


Oh, and I watched The Others the other (ahahahaha) day. What a good movie! I don't know what other movies Nicole Kidman's been in, but she's won my respect as an amazing actress. As for the movie itself, I kind of knew the twist end (it's on a t-shirt I own) but still, I wanted to see how it got there, and I was most pleased. It's a new take on your average ghost story that I'm surprised hasn't been snapped up more often. This is only the second time I've seen this.... motif around. (Proper use of the word, Emma?)
Anyways, to properly describe it and my love for the storyline itself, here it comes: SPOILER ALERT.
The story is this lady (Kidman) and her two children are living in their home, presumably after the war (2) or just after. The father has died on tour of duty, but the kids don't know this. So, out of nowhere, these three work hands come out of nowhere offering help, and since all the old work left Kidman accepts them into her home. Okay, that's just prelims. I don't really want to spend to much time summarizing what you could easily Wikipedia or google. Anyways, what I really like is the twist. See, constantly there is thumping. Strange noises, voices, apparitions. Kidman sees a strange old lady in her daughter's clothing. The daughter constantly sees a boy she refers to as 'Victor'. Kidman comes to the conclusion that the place must be haunted.
Twist? She is dead. She is the ghost in the house. Noises, the people she saw, strange movements--that was all from the people who had moved in. The old lady in her daughter's clothing? Oh man, I love this part: The daughter had possessed the old lady in the 'modern' world (which was really only a few years or even months later, now that I think of it). The house had changed, which you see for a split second from the view of the 'modern' people who moved in and are conducting a seance. Kidman was bumping into a the table the people sat around and the people in the chairs. Think The Sixth Sense, when Bruce realizes he can't open the door because of the table he couldn't see. But it's a ghost's story from the ghost's view, and I love that idea. I fell in love with that because of a short story which I believe was called 'The Ghost in the Summer Kitchen'. It's in one of Bruce Coville's anthologies, I believe it's Bruce Coville's Book of Spine Tinglers, the first one, but I can't say for sure. The story has that same idea, and although it took me quite a few reads to understand and realize that our narrator is the ghost (and there are a few other things I still don't really understand in the story) when I figured it out, I got quite a delicious frisson. Like I said, it's so new and unexplored, and such a fresh area to explore and write about. I'm surprised these two have been the only things regarding such an idea--I mean, that I've found.
If you search for the story on google by the way, you can get a link to the google book preview. Personally, I prefer Bruce Coville's print of it, but whatever.
What I was expecting was actually quite similar to a story in another one of Coville's anthologies called 'The Frogmen'. The twist is that the people terrified so of the 'frogmen' are people kept in some sort of study reserve akin to The Village. The 'frogmen' are humans in wetsuits and masks and goggles and such. I thought Kidman in the kids were going to be trapped for study like that, and they were trying to steal the children to study and tear and rend. Anyways....

I found a poster at a college I visited that's a 'BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU' poster. I really wish I had gotten that, creepy as it was...

Tried reading Wuthering Heights. Even worse than Jane Eyre, I put it down after seventy or eighty pages. No idea what the hell was going on, except for a scene in the very first chapter when a girl mistakes a pile of dead bunnies for a litter of kittens. (Who leaves piles of dead rabbits in fancy chairs in the parlor anyway?) Whoever published the Bronte sisters' books need to be beaten. What are you waiting for? Go travel back in time and beat them up! Now.

Also, although the date is from a few days ago, I am just finishing this post on September first. In this time, I've finished a Neil Gaiman book, American Gods and I've begun Stardust, which I'm worried is going to be the book the crappy-looking movie of the same name was based on. Okay, so I didn't see it, but that three-minute trailer was even more confusing than Australia's trailer, and we know how great that movie was. Actually, was that even a movie? Or am I just imagining if Castle in the Sky was filmed with real people? Well, if I'm not imagining things, that was the reason why I passed it up--the star is really a girl! And what was that? Oh, pirates. AND INSTEAD OF ROBOTS THERE ARE FAERIES AHHHHHH.

Oh yeah, and that book store in Salem: 215 Essex Street, Salem, Mass. The 'Derby Square Book Store', and trust me, you'll know it when you see it.