Wonder if he'll ever know: he's in the best-selling show: 'Is There Life on Mars?'

Over the course of the last few comments (right now, four) on my last post I realized something: We have not invented any new lingo (proving my own point) in, like, 40 years. Maybe 30. But still? When did cool start getting used as a synonym for awesome? Probably in the seventies! No, according to dictionary.com? The 1930's. The 1930's! You know what else happened in 1930? The dust bowl. The dust bowl. And... uh... 'rad'. Fifties. 'Dynamite'. 'Da bomb'. Okay, that was probably like nineties. But really. Come on, get off your butts kids of America. We need slang, so I can sound antiquated because I talk like the Victorian era and 1930's had a child. A child who was only a way of speaking. My way of speaking. Though the Victorian era speaking thing may be because of my Victorian era fetish, but really, we don't need to get into that right now Oscar Wilde.
Anyways. Make some new slang. And nothing that blows (nineties! Bart Simpson!), okay? Run it by me first. I have crowned myself 'Official Chairman of choosing new lingo including something to replace lingo'. (Everyone applauds)

Anyways, the other day I was stuck in my basement so all I could do was pick up a book nearby.... and since I've been bashing Stephen King so much, that book was Carrie. Everyone knows this plot, at least I think so, and remember, on average my brain is set at least 40 years behind everyone else's. But Carrie is basically this psychic girl whose powers are triggered by the advent of her period (no one remembers this from the movie? That was like the scene. And the pig blood scene. I've never actually seen the movie, but my dad assures me what I just typed is the unvarnished truth) is what triggers her abilities to flower, and her mom's a religious nutcase and she's the butt of the school. And then, like every other Stephen King book, everyone dies in a huge explosion. Would you like me to list his books where this has happened? I can't. It would destroy my bandwidth. And then it would explode, and I'd die. In a fiery explosion. Needful Things. 'Salem's Lot. Desperation. Oh what was that? I seemed to cough textually in italicized format just now. But no matter! Let's continue:
My first criticize comes when Stephen King describes a woman as a "typical Ms. California", she "wears bright print shifts", "her hair is black-streaked blond", she's a member of the "California Sun 'n Fun Crowd", et cetera. But then he compares her to Jack Kerouac--"When she talks about Carrie White her face takes on an odd, pinched look that is more like Lovecraft out of Arkham than Kerouac out of Southern Cal." Uhm, Stephen King? Jack Kerouac isn't a "typical Ms. California". In fact, I would go so far to say as he is nothing like what King described the woman to be? I mean, I guess Kerouac is known pretty exclusively for his CA travels, but in this case there are two types of Californians.... People who'd emulate Kerouac, and what you usually think of when you think of a person from CA. Did I just call Stephen King out? I'm not entirely sure. But if I did... I'm right. Come on. Man. (I decided it, by the way, so--LOGICAL FALLACY! That's right, I just called it on myself. Dayum.)
And there was a part I really liked. Stephen King usually has at least one meaningful thing from every book worth quoting in seriousness, and here we go: "'Kids don't know what they're doing. Kids don't even know their reactions really, actually, hurt other people. They have no, uh, empathy. Dig?'...'But hardly anybody ever finds out that their actions really, actually, hurt other people! People don't get better, they just get smarter. When you get smarter you don't stop pulling the wings off flies, you just think of better reasons for doing it.'" Props to him.
Ah, yes, is Carrie the Angel with the Flaming Sword? Is she His Right Hand? Punishing the children who abused her? Was she punishing her mother, or setting her spirit free to Heaven? Well, that explosion must have seemed like Judgment Day. I can believe she is an Angel with a Flaming Sword, but whether she is Michael or one of Satan's I can't judge. I can see her as a sort of martyr, constantly being crucified and such (that scene with her on the stage, was I the only one who thought of The Scarlet Letter?) but her being an agent of God.... Well, I was raised on Sunday School Jesus. The idea of Jesus being so bloody and violent just doesn't sit well with me. It just feels awkward. I don't know. I'm just going to take the book as a brainless thriller, nothing more. I enjoyed it, so why sour the pot? No thanks.

Also, regarding the title? I guess that is a TV show now. Is it any good? The theme song better be that song, or I'm calling a party foul (90's) right here and now. I'd watch it right now if I wasn't too busy not doing anything productive. And if it was on....