The Regulators by Stephen Ki--I mean, Richard Bachman

This book was not written by Stephen King under a pen name. Stephen King didn't even know this guy, or bear a suspicious resemblance to him. Not related at all.


LOL JK SAME GUY. Stephen King wrote four or five books 'as' Bachman, I own Thinner, which was actually a pretty good book, and now The Regulators. This book, unlike my copy of Thinner however, was published before Stephen King revealed the pseudonym apparently. (Looking back on it, it's cute how Stephen King name-drops himself in both books...) But, anyway, the book was written to be a companion to a book published under Stephen King's true name and persona, Desperation, which happens to be my favorite Stephen King book. Characters are reused, some situations are reused, even the covers of the jackets of the hardcover editions connect (too bad I tossed my jacket from Desperation out; this I'd like to get a closer look at). Also, if you look on the back of those jackets they have tiny versions of the partner's cover on it. (I think The Regulators's cover looks a little dorky.)


Anyway, the difference with this book is that... well, let me give you a brief summary of Desperation: Desperation is a small nothing town based off a mine in Nevada. In the 1800's, Chinese workers discovered a strange pit full of strange artifacts that made the men go mad--and a strange smoke that poured from the deepest recesses of the mine... The mine then was forced into collapse by two workers who saw the madness and knew they had to escape. No one ever attempted to reopen it until over 100 years later, when technology had improved and economic reasons made it kind of necessary. Of course, they reopen this chamber, and the smoke--really Tak, not quite a god or devil but some evil spirit comes out and begins possessing victims, eventually massacring most of the town. He, in the body of Collie Entragian, also pulls people off the road on false charges and imprisons them (to use as hosts later on) but this proves to be his downfall, as he picks up David Carver, who is guided by God and thus eventually destroys Tak, or at the very least sends him back to the ini (the pit originally found by the Chinese workers).



Okay, now The Regulators--the events in the other book never happened (not even the bit with the trapped workers, I don't think) and characters are assigned different positions and ages, but Tak, the ini, the mine and the actual town of Desperation still exist. This book, however, is set in Ohio, where young Seth lives. He is an autistic boy who on vacation happened to wander to close to Tak's home and Tak entered into him, though unlike in Desperation he did not increase Seth's size (in Desperation Tak entering into the body made it grow up and out to accommodate the powerful thing) and also unlike said book his existence in the body did not destroy Seth's personality or wring it out, or kill him after a short period of time (Tak in a body is similar to a cancer in the body.) Seth, obsessed with cowboys and an eighties cartoon inspires Tak to turn the Ohio town into an old Western town whose birth is announced in bloodshed by characters of the eighties cartoon killing several of the town before the transformation begins.


Okay, well, here we go--just a warning, this probably won't be more than a catalogue of similar people/events/et cetera between the two. But, here...


One of the first few characters we meet is Cary Ripton, the local paperboy--also the first to die, which is kind of ironic because in Desperation he is Tak's first host and thus first to die at Tak's hand when he reappears. (Cary's first dialogue in the book is a short back-and-forth to Brad Josephson, who was Tak's second host.) In that first introduction we also meet Marinville, who in Desperation was jaded and hateful, though he redeems himself at the very end--in this, he had a bad period, but has since recovered and is still a pretty happy guy. (And in this, his bad period is delved into a little more deeply--it is mentioned that he came at his ex-wife with a knife at one point, albeit a butter knife... while I'm thinking of it, his children are never mentioned either, though they are older.)


David and Kirsten Carver are no longer brother and sister, but husband and wife (though David still calls Kirsten 'Pie') and their children are Ralph and Ellen, his parents in Desperation. Might I mention that in the first, Ralph and Ellen are both killed by Tak's doing, and in this book they both live, while David, the most important character of Desperation is killed. (A somewhat loose rule seems to be, if they died in Desperation they live in this one and vice versa. Again, Peter is the first death you actually see in Desperation, but in this he lives while his wife dies.)

In Desperation, Marinville says or thinks that God died for him--or he died inside--during Vietnam while 'Purple Haze' was playing over the radio. During this book, after the initial carnage while he's watching Peter freak out over his wife's corpse he thinks: "All we need... is Hendrix on the soundtrack, playing 'Purple Haze'" (101). Later on--a page I don't believe I marked--he thinks about how people die hard and briefly mentions 'Nam--but in Desperation almost a whole page is dedicated to it, and a much gorier page it is--he actually goes into detail of men sitting up with their intestines falling out and in their laps, and so on.

Audrey Wyler redeems herself in this book (in the first she, sullied by the can tahs attempts to kill David Carver) by being the protector of young Seth, and remains unaffected by Tak's complete control--he can force her to do things for short periods of time, but he cannot possess her or change her will as in Desperation. Anyway, she mentions an invisible friend Melissa Sweetheart--Pie's beloved doll that's left by the side of the road in Desperation.

Steve Ames appears as a stranger to the town when all goes to hell, in Desperation he is Marinville's protector and enters the town to save him. On the way he picks up a hitchhiker, Cynthia. In this, he meets her in the convenience store she works at--they share almost the same exchange, though: "'No problem cookie'... 'Don't call me cookie and I won't call you cake,' she said in a prim little no-nonsense voice" (153). I got all excited, like yayyyy! Because... because it was the same... though there wasn't really an implied relationship of any sort between them, as it kind of did at the end of Desperation (well, I though it did).

In Desperation, when Collie first meets Marinville, coyotes all around howl, and Collie (possessed by Tak, remember) quotes Bela Lugosi from the original Dracula movie--"Children of the night, what music they make"... In The Regulators Steve hears them howl and thinks of "My children of the night... Bela Lugosi, a spook in black and white, spreading his cloak" (274).


One of the twins--Dave, not David Carver--attempts to strangle Marinville. He is thwarted by Marinville himself, who hits him in his unguarded stomach, and then a mountain lion created by Tak/Seth attacks Steve. The lion has her paws up on his shoulders--it describes them as having "tangoed drunkenly" (324). This scene is a flipflopped parody of that in Desperation--in that, I believe it is the mountain lion who attacks first, and she attacks a retired alcoholic (what he used to be was a veterinarian), and in the same fashion--though her attack then was fatal. This attack is not fatal; Steve lives to the end. While everyone is distracted by the lion, Audrey goes to strangle David, her mind already destroyed by the can tahs.


I think one of the most interesting things about this book is that Tak kind of merges with Seth--or at least adopts a childlike personality. He gets distracted by the TV for hours on end, the way you'd expect an eight-year-old child to get--not an eons old demon spirit thing. He is looking at Seth's toy cars and starts wishing it belonged to a cowboy from Seth's--and Tak's--favorite movie instead of the character of the TV show (MotoKops 2200) who owns it and starts imagining how it would be if they lived in town and all became friends--like a child's fantasy, no? In the first, Tak absorbs parts of the people--this person's love of The Tractors, one person's memory of Marinville's books, someone's knowledge of pop culture--but his personality never seems to really merge with them. Through and through he's the same cunning cruel madman. In this, his mind is clearly affected and influenced by Seth's workings. (And, before I forget about it, in Desperation Pie is wearing a MotoKops shirt when she is killed.)

"Because time is short, and the time is now" (424).


Each part is ended with old diary entries or letters--the conclusion before the final of these is after (spoilers!) Seth is killed, because Tak in this could not take another host--Seth is shot by the insane by this point Cammie. (Cammie is killed moments after by Tak himself.) Anyway, Marinville, deeply shaken, starts singing softly the ballad of Jesse James--as to say, who was the real hero or not (Well, I believe that's what he was driving at, in regards to Seth possibly). Because--history lesson--Jesse James was a notorious robber in his day, and for a while a fellow named Robert Ford travelled with him, for a few years I believe. Anyway, Ford just wanted the bounty and when he saw his chance he killed Jesse in a really really cowardly way (Jesse James was polishing a mirror or a photograph hanging upon the wall), but I mean, they were like brothers, so surely he felt guilty afterwards. I guess that could kind of work for Seth, because he loved his family but he killed them via Tak? Or, he killed Tak in the end but what about the aftermath...? But Seth dies, so... So no, I'm not sure if I understand the point of it. Well.


In the final letter portion, Stephen King name drops himself and The Shining (bad book; I'd stick to the movie if I were you). He is so adorable.





It was a pretty okay book, I guess. It felt kind of like a first draft manuscript, kind of bare, but the concept was interesting enough and it was kind of cool to see the characters from Desperation reused, especially Steve and Cynthia, and then Marinville--I'm glad things went better for him in this book at least. I'd read Desperation and then The Regulators if you do think of reading either, not only because you'll actually be able to find copies of Desperation in existence (I had to go to New York to get this!) but because The Regulators may seem a little disappointing if you read it on its own, first. Tak is also much more chilling in Desperation, too, so if you want to be creeped out I'd rely on that moreso as well.



Note on my copy: there's the receipt for a Miss Felicia Robin Herman from the Ramada hotel of Ontario stuffed in the back. The bill, too. Gee, I hope she didn't get into any trouble for not signing that...



Answer to last post's cryptic song lyrics for Emma: Shiksa (Girlfriend) by Say Anything

This post's cryptic song lyrics for Emma: Well, I might look like Robert Ford but I feel just like Jesse James



Current events: I found Holes--it was in my Stephen King/Michael Crichton shelf? Oh, of course. And, I bought a copy of Kavalier and Clay! And what I believe to be a complete collection of Oscar Wilde's poetry. Yeeeeeeees.