Yeah, there's no way I'm getting to the new testament before Christmas, though I made a somewhat-valiant effort... I'm on page 415, which is sort of halfway there? I'd say I'm already halfway there--halfway there--halfway there...! But yeah, I'd say the schedule I've been keeping up is fairly impressive!
The four books are the same basic story (with a few more details in the Chronicles) twice. 1 Kings ends the story of Solomon and surprise, surprise, discusses various kings that come and go. Within this are the stories of the prophets Elijah and Elisha, and wars and disasters because no-one seemed to be able to remember that they were supposed to be worshiping God as in Yahweh, even though every time they turned to Nergal, Baal, and others God punished them. Eventually (at the end of 2 Chronicles) all are exiled from Jerusalem because God, after about 300 some-odd years of this, finally gets fed up.
My first note is simply a call to the fact that Solomon is the famous king who is approached by the two mothers fighting over a baby. You must have heard this story at least once before--Solomon says he'll slice the baby in half so they each can have a half, and one woman is content with this, and the other woman panics (as who wouldn't!?). The woman who panicked is of course the real mother, because she was scared for her child's wellbeing. In The Cartoon History of the Universe:Volumes 1-7 by Larry Gonick, he explains it as a political parable rather than an actual truthful story (it is much more believable as a political parable!). Solomon was an illegitimate son, and this story is supposed to signify that he would be willing to split the kingdom with war, whereas the true heirs to the throne would prefer to give up the kingdom rather than see it split by war. I'd also like to mention that when I opened Gonick's book, I flipped open exactly to the page dealing with this. No biggie, I'm just kind of awesome like that.
Oh, the prophet Elijah? I was unaware of this, or perhaps I forgot, but he brings a boy back from the dead. I did not remember at all that people other than Jesus could do this. (It makes sense that others could. But I still had a "Woah!" moment.)
And now we're skipping ahead forever, but at the very end of 1 Kings Elijah judges King Ahab of Israel, who has been condemned by God. Ahab fasts and puts on a sackcloth and "humbled himself" (1 Kings 21:29) before God. God reacts to this as follows: "Because he has humbled himself before me, I will not bring the disaster in his days; but in his son's days I will bring the disaster on his home" 1 Kings 21:29. This really, really, really bothers me. Why? "Parents shall not be put to death for their children, nor shall children be put to death for their parents; only for their own crimes may persons be put to death" Deuteronomy 24:16. Well, Ahab is killed anyways... "The dogs licked up [Ahab's] blood, and the prostitutes washed themselves in it" 1 Kings 22:38. ....Wow. Talk about imagery. Dang...
In 2 Kings a God named Baal-zebub is discussed. Hmm, looks like a poor translation of the lord of the flies's name, no? (Beelzebub.) Of course, there are no pig heads on sticks or epileptic seers, so I guess I can't say for sure that's who it is. It may (not) just be coincidence...
There is also a terrible famine in Samaria that just to get a head of a donkey you'd have to pay eighty silver shekels, and a quarter of a kab of dove's dung was worth five silver shekels. Wait... What? Dove's dung!? You've got to be hurting pretty badly to be wanting to eat that... Right!?
A woman during this famine also goes to the king of Israel with a complaint. Her complaint? Another woman suggested that they kill the first lady's son and eat him. The next day, they can have her son. The first lady must be absolutely ravenous, because she agrees, and they kill, cook, and eat her son. The next day, woman number one goes to woman number two so they can have her son for dinner. Surprise, surprise! Woman number two hid her son. Granted, woman number one was probably blinded by hunger and had addled wits, but still, she didn't even have an inkling that this may happen? Nuh-uh. For future reference, readers: you're starving and a lady wants to make a deal with you like this? Eat her kid first. You should be good and make true on your promise, but have her kid first so she won't try to double-cross you. That is all.
Later, God orders Jehu to slaughter all the worshipers of Baal. This Jehu does, and God rewards him: "'Because you have done well in carrying out what I consider right, and in accordance with all that was in my heart have dealt with the house of Ahab, your sons of the fourth generation shall sit on the throne of Israel'" 2 Kings 10:30. On one hand, I think it's kind of cool that God has that little admission and says "what I consider right"... On the other hand, admitting there could be other rights may kind of throw off a follower or cast doubt into his heart. Jehu did not "follow the law of the Lord the God of Israel with all his heart" 2 Kings 10:31... And perhaps that is why? Just speculation.
Other various false gods are mentioned, and I include them and brief definitions of them mostly for myself: Succoth-benoth, Nergal, Ashima, Nibbaz, Tartak, Adrammelech, and Anammelech. Little is known about Succoth-benoth... Ashima appears to be a goddess of fate... Nergal appears to be the god of pestilence, war, and the underworld. He also is Billy's Uncle. Nibbaz doesn't even garner results, the only information of Tartak is that he's supposed to resemble a donkey, Andrammelech was a sun god who was associated with Molech (and was also honoured with child sacrifice) and Anammelech is Andrammelech's lunar half.
(Now that I think about it, Succoth-benoth... Shoggoth... Perhaps here is HP Lovecraft's inspiration namewise, at least a little bit...?)
I've got no more notes... Sorry. (I know, I know, you're heartbroken.) I probably won't post until after Christmas... Or at seven AM Christmas morning because IT IS CHRISTMAS and I need to get up at least three hours before everyone else in the house to snoop around the presents and futilely try to retain consciousness for no real good reason... These things are important to do!
MLA citation information: Holy Bible: New Revised Standard Edition. American Bible Society: New York, 1989.
Let's see, what else... What's new and somewhat literary in my life...? For one thing, I officially own four copies of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. My neighbours were getting rid of some books and they had two copies and they know how I feel about Narnia, so there we go... (I already had two because of the copy I read as a kid and the leatherbound collection.)
Oh, and thanks to the books my neighbours gave me (there were a few others, like How to Eat Fried Worms! That book is rad, and probably why I ate quite a few insects out of curiosity at a young age) and books I kept from college, my bookshelf is full. ...Uh. What do I do now...? Um. Crud.
Let's see, I also visited the school... well, yesterday now. Apparently Fabrizzles does still brag about me to his classes doing Nanowrimo--"It can be done twice, and all with one hand too!" (Aw, he remembered the fact that I don't have the coordination to type with both hands! No, don't laugh; I really don't.) But I thought that was cool. For better or for worse, I've left an indelible mark on NBHS! (Of course, I've hardly been gone for a full year. There really hasn't been enough time to forget me...) But yeah, a little ego boost I needed. (I forgot to tell him about the four copies of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe! Though I feel like his reaction would pretty much be "You would. You really would." No, I wouldn't! It's not even my favourite in the series!)
I darkened Robby D's doorway too, of course. It was pretty good times, though I forgot to try and steal a copy of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test again. I saw it in Borders the other day and almost bought it and then I just thought, Why not wait till I go back to visit in like a week? I can just steal it from Robby D. And then I forget! Gosh, I really don't know about me sometimes.
I also asked him if he ever bragged about the Kerouac painting because 1) I have a huge ego and 2) I think I have every right to be overly proud of that painting. He said yes, but also that "sometimes I want to take a paintball gun to it." I can assure you that I died laughing a little. Like, I only laughed when he actually said it, but when I was at home and happened to think of it, I straight-up guffawed. So yeah, good times visiting the old stomping grounds. Better when I'm not actually required to do things there...
Answer to last post's cryptic song lyrics: Hallelujah by Rufus Wainwright
This post's cryptic song lyrics: Beelzebub, has the devil put aside for me, for me, for me--!
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