Don't come closer or I'll have to go

Hey guys! I recently read another book of John Green's (of youtuber fame) entitled Looking For Alaska. Good, good, goooooooooooood book. Fantastic. (I've decided that people don't use that word enough today. Let's bring it back.) To illustrate exactly how good it is, I fell asleep reading it. Usually I can pull away from a book before I pass out. But oh! John Green held me with his vice grip and would not let me g.... uh. That looks weird written out. S--sorry, John... But I would recommend the book. A good read, indeed.

Anyway, let's meet our protagonist, Miles, soon to be renamed 'Pudge'. He is transferring high schools to a boarding school, leaving behind a nonexistent social life and taking with him a love for last words. (Oh, hi John! My favorite may be, "Tell them I said something!" This is also the one of the only two John Green videos I've ever watched, for the record.) So, he meets a bunch of cool cats, like the Colonel, ALASKA, Takumi (aka, the "motherf---ing Fox", and my favorite character) and a bunch of other people who you'll meet if you read the book. Anyway, please note that Alaska is a human girl, and Emile Hirsch is not involved. This is not a rewrite of Into the Wild. (No one is laughing!? You guys! Comedic gold!)

Let me say this now: Alaska embodied basically 95% of the traits in people that I hate. I know what happens to her and all, but before thus I was like hey, Alaska, shut up. And SPOILER: just saying, if a friend of mine died I'd probably just be upset. I wouldn't make a mystery out of it...

"'God will punish the wicked. And before He does, we will" (71). Go, Colonel, go!

"'The Colonel takes all this honor and loyalty sh-t pretty seriously, if you haven't noticed'" (73). I wish more people took that sort of stuff more seriously. What an impeccable world we'd live in! A world full of bolly days, ostentatious British accents and funny chuckling--oh, and top hats. Is that really what would happen? I don't know. But get me my top hat just in case. (I'm having a very top hattish week).

Alaska has terrible taste in Vonnegut books. Cat's Cradle!? Well, at least it wasn't Hocus Pocus. And I guess the pictures in Breakfast of Champions would be hard to see in the moonlight. And Galapagos... Actually, I don't think Vonnegut is a very 'read by moonlight' sort of author, but I guess that's why John Green and I aren't married. (Aside from several hundred other reasons.)

"'Can't wear it to the opera,' said the Colonel, almost smiling. 'Can't wear it to a funeral. Can't use it to hang myself. It's a bit useless, as ties go'" (150).

SPOILER! "Someday no one will remember that she ever existed, I wrote in my notebook, and then, or that I did. Because memories fall apart, too. And then you're left with nothing, left not even with a ghost but with its shadow" (196). / "And I will die, and you will die, and we all will die, and even the stars will fade out one after another in time"--Jack Kerouac

"We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so cannot fail" (221). Dear John Green, I love you.

LAST WORDS:

"You seem to be feeling better this morning." Henrik Ibsen: "On the contrary." (Dies)

"Now comes the Mystery"--Henry Ward Beecher

"I've had eighteen straight whiskeys. I do believe that's a record"--Dylan Thomas

"Born in a hotel room, and--God damn it--died in a hotel room"--Eugene O'Neil

"I am not a coward, but I am so strong. So hard to die"--Meriwether Lewis

"It's very beautiful over there"--Thomas Edison

I need a book of last words. Anyway, Green's little bio thing says his favorite quote is Wilde's: "Either this wallpaper goes--or I do." I always thought what he actually said was "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death." Or something like that. According to Wikiquote (which I remembered I could easily look up because, duh, I have Internet!) he said: "My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go." So we're both kind of right. I'm willing to share this. Wiki Answers says it's not his very last words. Several sites agree with Green. Well, there's only way to find out! Get the TARDIS.

PS. In case if you're still wondering: I found Alaska. You don't have to look anymore.

PPS. Into the Wilde?